Agreements Workbook #0: Outline/Table of Contents [draft]


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Two stylized hands clasping, forming a heart. Copyright-free symbol designed by Ravi Poovaiah, Professor, IDC, IIT Bombay.[UPDATE: purchase the whole workbook here for only $10!]

Hi folks!  Welcome to the #0 entry in the Agreements Workbook series. Why #0? See, one of my friends, upon reading entries #1 and #2, said that they liked it, but “would really like to see where it’s going.” So I decided to back-fill this information by giving you a very tentative Outline/Table of Contents.  The Workbook is definitely a draft at this point, so I’m pretty sure that some things will get added, dropped, and or rearranged before I’m done. But for now, this TOC Draft should help you get an idea of where I’m headed. So far, I’m on track to update 2-3 times per week.

Wanna read more? For the first entry in this series, click  here. Next up: Why have Agreements at all?

Please feel free to make comments or ask questions, either here, or on my Facebook Page, Love Outside The Box.


~♥ Dawn

∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥


Hey, anyone got a catchier title suggestion?? If you suggest a name and I like it, and I end up using it for the published version, I promise to give you a free copy of the book. If you’re local, I’ll bake you brownies (or the treat of your choice, if you can’t eat those)!

Dawn M. Davidson




What the heck are Agreements, and why should I care?

What are Agreements NOT?

With whom might you have Agreements?

Possible Agreement partners
Cases where mutual Agreements are difficult or impossible

Why have Agreements at all?

Because you have them already, whether or not you realize it
Safety and Freedom
Structure and Support
Memory Aid

Agreements Are About Meeting Needs

Agreements and Requests, or “When is a request not a request?”

Agreements begin with REQUESTS

So what’s a demand, then?

Agreements and Negotiation: Accept, decline, counter-offer

Ten Tips for Making Empowering Agreements

1) Begin With Brainstorming

2) Use Time Limited Agreements Where Needed

3) Have Clear Standards and Consequences

4) “Additive” Agreements:  New models for old situations

5) Wonderfulness Points:

6) Keep emotional and physical safety needs distinct

7) KISS: Keep It Simple, Sweetheart!

8 ) Create Clear Ownership of the Agreements

9) Check in periodically/re-negotiate if needed

Check in as you go
Pushing the envelope

10) Write it down

The Five Reasons Agreements Fail

1) Simply Forgetting

2) Missed Contingency

3) Differing Interpretations of the Agreement

4) Agreement Was Not Additive

5) Agreement Simply Can’t Work

Using agreements to rebuild trust

Use LOTS of time-limited agreements.

Start with really really small things…


Additional Worksheets

Recommended Reading


∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥

[© 2011 Dawn M. Davidson]

[Return to the first entry in this series]

[UPDATE: purchase the whole workbook here for only $10!]

















12 thoughts on “Agreements Workbook #0: Outline/Table of Contents [draft]

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    1. dawnd Post author

      Sure thing, Erika! I’ve skimmed that entry, and I definitely find your thoughts interesting. I like this line, for instance:

      “I listen to my intuition, and what my intuition tells me is that the areas of my life that are peaceful and enjoyable are those where I have clear agreements.”

      I agree that unclear agreements can cause a lot of issues! This is an area I find myself working over and over again, like layers of an onion. :^)

      Was there something in particular that you were interested in discussing about Agreements?

      Best wishes, Dawn


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