“Building Blocks” (a poem)

I’m having a hard time writing right now, in part because what I need to write about isn’t so much related to polyamory (except inasmuch as I am polyamorous, of course).  So while I wait to see if I can find the time and energy to write about my experiences getting healthcare for someone close to me who is underinsured, I thought I’d give you a poem I wrote last week.
Enjoy.

~♥ Dawn

 

Hands -- a sculpture in LEGO(tm) blocks, by Nathan Sawaya

Hands -- a sculpture by Nathan Sawaya

 

Building Blocks

It seems I’ve lost myself
again.

It’s not the first time.

I’m forever losing parts of myself
like lost LEGOs
secreted under the dusty furniture
with my missing spoons
or hidden in my dirty laundry.

I wonder what I’d make
if I could ever get myself together?

Would I make a house a home?
make change?
make a difference to this one?
make space?
make peace?
or make the world a better place?

Imagine:
Bits of me, reunited
rising from the floor
towering gloriously
A cantilevered structure reaching toward the light
layer upon layer, piece by piece
riotous colors and random blocks
all fitted together to make…
what?

I don’t know
but it sure is:

interesting
creative
thoughtful
tightly fitted
daring
colorful
supportive
innovative
sturdy…

…haphazard
chaotic
jarring
unbalanced
stuck
(especially those two flat pieces
that you can never again pry apart
no matter how many fingernails you break)

meandering
unattractive
overlarge

useless.

Oh,
well.

One thing
about building blocks
is you can always
tear them down
knock them over
yank them apart
and start over.

Maybe this time
I’ll have a plan
get organized
sort things out
start on a firm foundation
get my bricks in a row
build bridges
have more defined boundaries
and make something of myself.

Maybe this time
I’ll find the time
to find
me.

~Dawn Davidson
copyright April 7, 2011

 

2 thoughts on ““Building Blocks” (a poem)

  1. Janet MacKenzie

    Hi Dawn,
    Wow – great writing! I particularly like what you said about how even though building blocks may fall we can always put them back together. I will use that as a reminder next time my blocks fall.

    Reply
    1. dawnd Post author

      Hi Janet: I’m glad you liked my poem. While it’s true that we can always put our blocks together if they fall, my poem was actually more about me taking the initiative to actually deconstruct the blocks/myself. There’s a rawness, almost a violence to the phrases I use there, and it’s deliberate. Even if I’m not liking what I see, I can turn my inner anger at myself into a positive force, engaging in a form of the death/rebirth cycle, clearing space for something new. It’s not just me passively waiting for something to happen that knocks me over (though that does also happen sometimes!), but instead me actively deciding to start over, which begins by clearing out the old.

      Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *