Category Archives: Conferences

1st Non-Monogamies Conference Lisbon-Portugal

Poly [etc!] in Portugal! 9/25-27/15 CfC deadline extended

NMCI Conference, Portugal, 9/25-27/15

Hey poly/open/non-mono researchers, activists, artists, and presenters! Are you in or near Europe — or would like to at least BE in Europe in September? This great conference is happening September 25-27 in Lisbon, Portugal. The Call for Contributions deadline has been EXTENDED to May 31!

Get your submissions in now to be part of the FIRST EVER Conference on Non-Monogamies and Contemporary Intimacies! https://nmciconference.wordpress.com/

 

Just want to attend the conference, without being a presenter? That’s possible too. Find out more about fees and registration here: https://nmciconference.wordpress.com/registration/

 

More Poly/Open/Non-Mono Conferences

Want to know about other upcoming conferences?  Check out Alan M’s great list of Poly Events, worldwide: http://polyevents.blogspot.com/

No matter who or how many you love, Love is ALWAYS ok!

~♥ Dawn

DawnInCellPhone

Contact me and we’ll set up a time to do a FREE consultation! I’m excited to help you create your own best life and love/s!

PS: Get ready for the conference with fun T-shirts and other products from my LoveOTB Zazzle store!

 

 

♥∞♥∞♥∞♥∞♥∞♥∞♥∞♥∞♥∞♥∞♥∞♥∞♥∞♥∞♥∞♥∞♥∞♥∞♥∞♥

©2015, Dawn M. Davidson

Rocky Mountain Poly Living

Join me in Colorado! RM Poly Living May 8-10, 2015

I’m so excited to invite you to join me next weekend, May 8 – 10, in Colorado at Rocky Mountain Poly Living. We’ll convene at the Ramada Plaza Hotel in North Denver for a fabulous weekend of fun, networking, education, and socializing!

CunningMinxPolyamory Weekly Podcast legend Cunning Minx will be giving the keynote speech on Friday, followed by a fun Bohemian Nights Dance (both are included with your full weekend registration.) Continue reading

Got Jealousy? Join Me at Conferences & Workshops!

Happy Valentine’s Day (almost)!  I’ll be presenting 4 times in the SF Bay Area this coming week. Perhaps you can join me at one or more events? It’s not too late!  List up front; longer descriptions below:

Continue reading

Photo of Poly Living Attendees

Meeting Open-Hearted People at Conferences

5 Ways to Meet Open-Hearted People — Part 1: Conferences

As I mentioned in yesterday’s introduction, in this series, I’m going to discuss 5 different ways you can learn more about “outside the box” relationships, and/or meet other people who are interested in the same things … and might even want to date you! To recap, the 5 ways I’ll discuss are:

1) Conferences — one-time, occasional, or periodic gatherings

2) Ongoing Local Meetings — discussion groups, potlucks, dinners, game nights and more

3) Primarily on-line discussion groups — e.g., Facebook groups, Yahoo! Groups, Google Groups, Meetup, e-mail lists

4) Dating and Social Sites — e.g., Polymatchmaker, OK Cupid, Ko-Tango

5) Crossover Interests — e.g., tantra, swinging, naturists, kink/BDSM

Meeting Open-Hearted People at Conferences

Conferences are a popular place to meet polyamorous, open, or otherwise open-hearted people.  There are conferences in many parts of the world, and for many flavors and subgroups of the open-hearted culture.  From Open-Cons in the UK and Spain, to hotel conferences in Atlanta and Philadelphia, to clothing-optional retreats in California and New York, the wide variety of conferences available offer the opportunity to connect with like-minded people at all times of the year, and in many parts of the world.

Conferences offer a number of positive benefits for meeting others,  including:

Continue reading

Poly Pi Flag

Pi Day! — Fly Your Poly Pride Flag High!

Friday 3/14 is a day beloved of geeks everywhere.  It’s “pi” Day!  The date when — at least in the United States — the calendar is an approximation of “pi”, a mathematical constant: 3/14, or 3.14:

π (pronounced pie, written as pi) is a constant. Its approximate value is 3.14159, or 22/7.
r is the radius of the circle. It is equal to half the diameter.
πr² means pi times the square of the radius of the circle, which equals the area of the circle.

Pi day has in recent years morphed into “Pie Day,” when geeks revel in eating many kinds of pie… sometimes while reciting pi to ridiculous numbers of decimal points.  (If that’s your style, you can find 10,000 digits of pi on this web page.)  It’s also the day when MIT college applicants receive their admission letters.

But what has all of this got to do with polyamory?  I’m glad you asked!  It’s because one of the polyamory symbols is the “Poly Pride Flag”:

The poly pride flag consists of three equal horizontal colored stripes with a symbol in the center of the flag. The colors of the stripes, from top to bottom, are as follows:

  • Blue – The openness and honesty among all partners.
  • Red – Love and passion.
  • Black – Solidarity with those who must hide their relationships due to social pressures.

The symbol in the center of the flag is a gold Greek lowercase letter “pi” (π), as the first letter of “polyamory”.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polyamory, retrieved 3/13/14

So in a manner of speaking, “pi” day is also a day for polyamorous people everywhere!  Wear your pi symbols with pride, and eat pie with gusto, sharing them liberally with your polyamorous family and communities.  Because we’re all about the sharing, dontcha know. 😉

Make pi(e), not war!

~♥ Dawn

PS: Don’t have anything with the polyamory pi flag on it (but want some)?  Head on over to my Zazzle store — http://www.zazzle.com/LoveOutsideTheBox* —  and you’ll find a wide variety of pi-flag themed items for sale, as well as a few other things with my own “Love Outside the Box” logo. (Tip: Get 17% off everything in honor of next Monday’s St. Patrick’s Day using code STPATDAY2014 at checkout.)

 

PPS;  And because I can’t resist, here’s a silly pi joke. One day in math class, the teacher asked “what is the formula for determining the area of a circle?”  One enterprising girl’s hand shot up, and she replied, “pi r squared!” From the back of the room, another voice said, with scorn, “that’s stupid!  Everyone knows pie aren’t square!  Pie are ROUND!”

[Guess which kid passed geometry?]

∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥

[© 2014 Dawn M. Davidson]

F-M-M Triad

Seeking triad for TV show about non-mono bisexuals

F-M-M Triad

Dany, Lon, and Troy, a non-monogamous and bisexual triad, as they appeared on National Geographic’s “Taboo” TV series in January of 2012.

Hi everyone!  Alan M. of Poly in the Media just forwarded a letter from Rachel at ZKK TV, a documentary production company in the U.K. (http://www.zkktv.com/). They’re seeking “polyamorous groups consisting of 3 people, where one is heterosexual, one is bisexual, and the other is either gay or bisexual.”  Alan says:

“It looks like an above-average outfit, judging only by what they say on their webpage”
[however]
“I see on their Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/pages/ZKK-TV/307763952592744) that they sold “My Daughter the Teenage Nudist” to the U.K.’s Channel 4, which I think has a downmarket reputation. The show (I haven’t watched it):
http://www.channel4.com/programmes/my-daughter-the-teenage-nudist/4od

Here’s the letter from ZKK’s researcher, Rachel:

My name is Rachel – I’m a researcher at a television company called ZKK. I’m getting in touch at the suggestion of the Polyamory Media Association web page.We have been asked to do a 1 hour documentary about couples who aren’t monogamous. Specifically, we’re looking at relationships where one person is bisexual, and enjoys relationships with people of the same sex with the blessing of another partner of the opposite sex. The idea is to create a warm, celebratory documentary that looks at this type of relationship from all angles; we have spoken to wives who are quite happy for their bisexual husbands to have affairs with other men, and husbands who are happy for their bisexual wives to do the same. In order to get a well rounded view we’d like to speak to polyamorous groups consisting of 3 people, where one is heterosexual, one is bisexual, and the other is either gay or bisexual.You’re probably extremely busy, but I’d really appreciate your help. Do you know of anyone in this type of relationship?Kind regards,
Rachel
Rachel Douce:  rachel.douce@zkktv.com
——————————————

If you do decide to respond, please, do your Due Diligence and check these folks out first! Make sure you’ve thought about the possible ramifications of appearing on TV in this sort of context.  As much as you can, prepare for the appearance, such as talking to the good folks over at the Poly Media Association, or Loving More, or studying the information available on the website for the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom (NCSF).  Proceed at your own risk, and please remember that this post does not constitute a recommendation from either myself or Alan M.!

In other news, this weekend I’m off to the 3rd International Conference on the Future of Monogamy and Non-Monogamy, which starts this evening (Friday 2/21/14) in Berkeley, CA, with a session aimed at Clinicians. Saturday has the big events, with three tracks of interesting presentations ranging from academic presentations, to arts/media/folklore, and Public Education.  I’ll be in the Public Education track myself, with a presentation on Riding the Green Wave: Tools for Dealing with Jealousy.  The conference is pretty full, but there may yet be space, so if you’re drawn to be there, check it out, or come on by!

And whether or not you can join us, do remember that no matter who or how many you love, Love is always OK!

~♥ Dawn

kissPS:  I’ve updated my KISSable Agreements Workbook, and the updated version is now available from my website for only $10 for the pdf .  And I’ll have a few physical copies of the book available this weekend as well, for $15.   Yay!

 PPS:  Agreements are one great way to help deal with jealousy! Stop by the conference this weekend to learn some more ways… or check out the free teleseminars about jealousy that I did with Kathy Labriola (who will also be presenting at the conference on Friday evening, by the way!).

∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥

[© 2014 Dawn M. Davidson]


PantheaCon2014 Cover

Join me at 2 upcoming conferences!

Happy almost-Valentine’s Day! I have good news for folks who will be in the SF Bay Area over the next two weekends:  There are two upcoming conferences at which I’ll be appearing, and at which I’d love to meet up with you! PantheaCon2014 Cover

First up is Pantheacon, an awesome gathering of thousands of people from all over the world. Filled with all sorts of Pagans and people interested in and/or practicing various forms of “alternative” spiritualities, this conference every year over the Presidents’ Day weekend offers a dazzling array of concerts, workshops, dealer’s room, rituals, classes, books, costumes, and much, much more. I’ll be co-teaching a class with Francesca Gentille (on the topic of creating your own best relationship model), at 2pm Sunday 2/16, in the Church of All Worlds hospitality suite on the 2nd floor of the Double Tree Hotel in San Jose.  If you’re of a mind to join us for a day or a weekend, check out the link here: http://pantheacon.com/wordpress/ I’d love to see you there!

Next up is the 3rd International Conference on the Future of Monogamy and Non-monogamy, to be held this year February 21-23 in Berkeley, California. With multiple tracks including Academic, Clinical, Art & Folklore, and Public Education, this conference has something to offer almost everyone interested in polyamory, open relationships, and other related topics.  Kathy Labriola (my co-presenter for the Jealousy teleseminars last fall) will also be there. I’m scheduled in the Public Education Track on Saturday, and I’d love to see you there! Click here to find out more and/or buy tickets: https://sites.google.com/site/ipachome/

Whether or not we get to see each other in person soon, I wish you all the best for this Valentine’s Day season of love.

And remember:  No matter who or how many you love, Love is always OK!

~♥ Dawn

PS:  I’m still running my “winter specials” — reduced prices on coaching packages.  I’d love to help you and your loves have relationships that are sizzling hot, and truly fulfilling!  Call me or email to set up a time for your free 30 minute consultation. 🙂

love_outside_the_box_white_on_dark_t_shirts-r734308d7aa2c48a6a7a731d0498738ca_8nfnu_216PPS:  Need something for your Valentine(s)?  You might want to check out my Zazzle Store: (zazzle.com/LoveOutsideTheBox*). I’ve got lots of items for sale, including things with my logo (some are customizable!), and also stuff with the poly “pi flag” design, or other nifty things. Or just shop Zazzle through my link, and find awesome stuff for everyone you love!

∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥

[© 2014 Dawn M. Davidson]

(Over-)Communicate, Communicate, Communicate?

Communication

The poly mantra, as they say, is “Communicate, communicate, communicate,” hereinafter represented as “C^3” for brevity in this article. 🙂  We all know (or we learn quickly), that polymory and open relationships take a LOT of communicating.  In fact, a therapist friend of mine, Cat Maness, said yesterday, that her top 5 skills for poly/open relationships are:

  1. Communicate
  2. Communicate
  3. Communicate
  4. Communicate
  5. Scheduling

And I’ll add that the most common thing to communicate about is… scheduling!  We do a lot of talking and writing around here. It’s just part of the process.

That said, there comes a time when some folks feel that C^3 is OVER-communicating.  Recently, for instance, in publicizing the second workshop I’m doing with Kathy Labriola, MORE Jealousy First Aid, I sent out a couple of invites, and Kathy send out an invite, and at least some people on both lists have started to feel like it’s OVER-communicating.  (Theoretically, having Infusionsoft is supposed to help with this, but I’m such  relative n00b at it that I’m still figuring out how to use all the fancy bells and whistles.) The fact, is though, that one person’s “communicating” is another person’s “OVER-communicating.”  People have different preferences, and different levels of comfort with communication.  And that’s natural, too.

One way you can mitigate the mismatches in communication styles is, of course, to make some Agreements about them. 🙂 Here’s where you might want to check into my newly-available “beta” version of my KISSable Agreements Workbook, or to check out Cat Maness’ online Agreement generator.

Another thing to remember, is that sometimes someone may be “over-communicating,” because they aren’t getting a “handshake” from you. There may be a simple fix in making a specific, verbal acknowledgement of the message received. Then they can rest assured that you’ve received the message, and can stop delivering it “just in case you haven’t.”

What’s your comfort level with communication?  Do you believe in C^3? Or do you have other ideas about communication? No matter what, I hope your communications are helpful in whatever sort of relationship/s you have. Because no matter who or how many you love…

Love is always OK!

~♥ Dawn

PS:  Watch for more from both me and Cat Maness, by the way. We’ve got some collaboration in the works for world domination, er… helping everyone we can through consciously co-created Agreements. 😀

PPS: I’m out of town this weekend, teaching at the Church of All Worlds Conclave in Cotati. If you decide to purchase my KISSable Agreements Workbook beta version, it might take me an extra day or two to get it to you. I will do so, never fear!

PPPS: If you can’t be on the live call for the MORE Jealousy First Aid Workshop, don’t worry.  Sign up anyway! You’ll get information on how to access the recording later. 🙂

 

∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥

[© 2013 Dawn M. Davidson]

Poly Speed Dating -- Boston

Poly Speed Dating Goes to Boston!

Poly Speed Dating -- BostonWhy should singles or monogamous couples have all the fun?  That’s what Pepper Mint, Luke, and the other Poly Speed Dating organizers said to themselves a few years back, when they created the highly successful Poly Speed Dating events. Armed with moxie, a desire to serve the poly/open communities, and some wicked programming skills, they created a unique algorithm to allow the poly/open communities to experience the entertainment and relationship hookup possibilities inherent in “dating” 10 people — or groups of people — all in one evening.

I’ve been to a few PSD events myself, and they’re quite the ride.  Anywhere from dozens to in at least one case several hundreds of eager polyamorous/open people crowd into a room organized into groups of chairs, usually by twos, but in some cases in clumps. Daters can specify a dizzying array of options, including dating as a single, being open to (or only) dating groups, sexual orientation, gender (including several beyond the standard binary M or F), kinkiness (or lack thereof, called “vanilla”), geographical preferences, and other items.  Less specificity might get you more dates; more specificity may get you fewer dates, but ones that are more in tune with your particular wants and needs.  Each date lasts a few minutes, and daters have the opportunity to say whether they’d be open to more contact later.  Only if BOTH parties match on that, does the computer program reveal contact information to both parties. (After that, it’s up to you to do something about it.)

Since their inception, they’ve become popular in the SF Bay Area, and have spawned several sub-varieties, such as the specifically Queer-Friendly events.  Last year, the biggest ever (so far!) PSD took place in the ballroom at the highly successful “OPEN-SF” conference. [And for those who are interested, I have word from the organizers that YES, there is another OPEN-SF conference planned for 2014!  Hooray!  More news as I hear it.]

Now, Poly Speed Dating is going to Boston, and it promises to be one of the events of the year. (Hey, Alan, since it’s in your own backyard, are you gonna be there??)  Here are the details (you can get lots more at the PSD event page, too.)

Details:
Wednesday, June 12th, 2013
At MOKSA, 450 Massachusetts Avenue, Cambridge, MA – www.moksarestaurant.com

 

• 450 Massachusetts Avenue, Cambridge, MA.
• A 5-minute walk from Central T.
• Check-in starts at 7pm. You must be there by 7:30. Event ends around 10pm.
• $20 per person if you pre-register, $30 at the door.
• We’ll provide snacks and soft drinks for you as part of your entry fee. There will be a full (pay) bar.
• No person turned away for lack of funds–please contact us!

If you have any questions about THIS event, email bostonpsd@polyspeeddating.com.

You can get yourself on the PSD mailing list for future events (in Boston or elsewhere) by writing to them at:
PSD@polyspeeddating.com

 

So if you’re poly/open, and in or near Boston, you’ll want to check it out.  It looks to be awesome fun.

 

And remember:  No matter what makes your love special, no matter how long or short that love is, no matter who and how many you love…

Love is ALWAYS OK!

~♥ Dawn

 

PS: Want to set up a time to talk with me about open relationships, polyamory, monogamy, and/or how to design your own best relationships? I’m happy to do a free 30 minute, or a 1/2 price 60 minute phone session with you. Get clear on what your relationship structure is, and underlying assumptions about rules and boundaries, and your relationship/s will be easier and happier! Or call me (510-686-3386) to set up a time!

love_is_ok_rainbow_heart_tshirt

∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥

[© 2013 Dawn M. Davidson]

Polyamory Therapy & Counseling: Resources, and Survey

polyamoryiswrong

Polyamorous people who have sought therapy (whether couples, family/group, or even individual) often experience challenges in locating a therapist that understands and supports polyamory as a valid relationship option.  As we discussed a couple of weeks back at the International Academic Polymory Conference 2013, there are numerous prejudices around polyamorous people and relationships, including such common misconceptions as “poly people can’t commit,” “polyamory is just another word for cheating,” or “polyamory is bad for the children.”

Fortunately for those seeking poly-friendly and poly-knowledgeable therapists, there are now some good resources available.  In particular, Joe Decker’s Poly Friendly Professionals site has been in operation for over a decade, and has a pretty good selection of therapists across the US, and some internationally as well.  The NCSF Kink-Aware Professionals (KAP) directory is another good resource, especially for folks that are both poly and kinky (but even for poly folks who are not kinky.) Of course, the more metropolitan the area, the better the selection, but even smaller or more rural areas are starting to feature folks who have some knowledge of polyamory. (And of course I also offer phone, Skype or Google Hangout coaching anywhere in the world, or in-person in the SF Bay Area. I’m happy to set up an introductory session if you’re interested.)

There’s also a good written resource for individuals and poly groupings to take to their therapist, to help to educate them on the topic. Normally one could find it on the NCSF site, but they’ve recently reorganized, and the link seems to be temporarily broken.  But I found a pdf of the document, called “What Psychology Professionals Should Know About Polyamory,” at the Chicago School of Professional Psychology.

Also, for those who’d like to contribute to the body of knowledge about what therapists and counselors should know about polyamory (and thereby help future people who are seeking these resources), there’s a recently announced survey from researchers Mitchell and Barger at Edgewood College:

Subject: Polyamory Survey: What Therapists Need To Know
Date: 2/27/2013 8:00:37 P.M. Eastern Standard Time
From: polyamorystudy2013@gmail.com

We are graduate students at Edgewood College in the Marriage and Family Therapy program.  In an effort to support mental health practitioners in offering culturally competent care, we are conducting a survey to gather information about the experiences and attitudes of polyamorous people, age 18 and over, about therapists and therapy.  Would you be willing to post the enclosed link:

https://edgewood.us2.qualtrics.com/SE/?SID=SV_80O1cks9tv7xjLf and welcome message for our survey and welcome message on your Listserv, Blog, News Letter, or Website or email list?

Polyamory Survey: What Do Therapists Need to Know?  If you are 18 or older and polyamorous, please take our survey: https://edgewood.us2.qualtrics.com/SE/?SID=SV_80O1cks9tv7xjLf and help us answer that question.  You will be asked questions about your personal and family history, experience you may have had in therapy, views of therapy, and the qualities you see as valuable in a therapist.   This information can assist therapists and educators as we work to create and enhance culturally competent models for therapy.  A reason we ask for informational on personal and familial history is because without this information, damaging myths, biases, and stereotypes can arise about polyamorous people and why polyamorous people seek therapy.  We are interested in presenting a realistic view of polyamorous people and supporting polyamorous people who seek therapy in getting the best quality care.  Thank you!  https://edgewood.us2.qualtrics.com/SE/?SID=SV_80O1cks9tv7xjLf

If you have any questions or would like to contact us, we can be reached at: polyamorystudy2013@gmail.com

Thank you,

Atala Mitchell and Madeline Barger, MFT Clinical Interns

Also:

This project has been reviewed and endorsed by a community advisory board of the Community-Academic Consortium for Research on Alternative Sexualities, a community-based research support organization which includes members of alternative sexualities communities. This project has scientific merit, follows ethical guidelines for research, and avoids community harm in its design and methods. For more information, please contact https://carasresearch.org.

Please note that there have been some issues reported on p. 3 & 4 of the survey. They were supposedly addressed, but last I heard, there were still problems, so just be aware.

Thanks to those of you who choose to participate in the survey, and good luck to all who seek counseling/therapy.  And always remember:

love_is_ok_rainbow_heart_tshirt

No matter who and how many you love, no matter their gender, their body shape or size, their race or the color of their skin, their political affiliation, their talents and abilities, their spiritual or religious leanings, their education…

Love is ALWAYS OK.

May you always love boldly, safely, and well,

~♥ Dawn

PS: If you like the T-shirt above, you can get one like it over at Zazzle. Tell the world that your love is ok!

∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥

[© 2013 Dawn M. Davidson]