Category Archives: Offers

Afternoon Delights on 4/26/14 + Free Recording!

What’s relationship success? Is your relationship a success or not, and how do you tell? How can you use “creative relationship design” to create a successful relationship tailored to your needs, and those of your partner/s?

This was the topic of the free call that I did a couple of weeks back, with Francesca Gentille.  I’ve finally surmounted the technological hurdles to get this out in a form that anyone can listen to.  Hooray!  Below is the link to the YouTube page for the audio (the slideshow portion is fairly optional.)

If you are local to the SF Bay Area, you might be interested in the in-person class that Francesca and I are teaching THIS Saturday, April 26th:  Afternoon Delights on the Wilder Shores of Love. (HINT: there’s a DISCOUNT CODE for those who listen to the FREE CALL recording below!) We’ve still got some spaces left, so grab a friend — or two, for best prices! — and sign up for this fun, interactive workshop!

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Millenial Gaia, a statue depicting Gaia/Mother Earth as a seated, pregnant woman, with the earth as her belly.

Out In the World… (a poem)

Most of the time, in this blog, I focus on polyamory and other forms of “ethical non-monogamy.”  Today, I’m offering something involving another facet of my own “outside the box” nature: Paganism. In a somewhat uncharacteristic way for me, I’m going to offer the poetry first, and the explanations after.  So scroll down if you’re interested in more background on how this poem came to be, and why I’m posting it here.  Enjoy!  ~♥ Dawn

Out In The World, the Goddess Speaks

(A poem by Dawn Davidson, © 2014)

Out in the wind
the Goddess speaks:
Branches whispering to one another, swaying in the wind.
“Bend;” she says, “flexibility is the key,
lest in bearing your natural pressures, you would otherwise break.”
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Wilder Shores of Love — FREE call 4/10, 5:15p Pacific

What’s relationship success? Is your relationship a success or not, and how do you tell? How can you use “creative relationship design” to create a successful relationship tailored to your needs, and those of your partner/s?

Please join Francesca Gentille and me (Dawn Davidson of Love Outside the Box) this Thursday, 4/10 at 5:15pmPacific for the FREE INFORMATIONAL CALL about the Wilder Shores of Love!

UPDATE: Here’s the link to the recording!  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7zoIaBrfBMQ

On the Web join online here:http://apps.calliflower.com/conf/show?guid=75e9680b5da6fdf796f36cd276d54d25a73a6951

Dial in number: 415 376 1329
Your Conference Code: 1282710

While this is a call where people can ask questions about our upcoming in-person class (see below), it’s not just a sales call — we are committed to providing value to everyone who joins us on the call! We plan to discuss some issues important to relationship success… starting with the question of what IS relationship “success”, and how do YOU measure it?

So join us on this FREE call, find out more about the Wilder Shore of Love, and share your ideas about creative relationship design!

Hope you can join us… because Love is always ok!

~♥ Dawn

PS: For more information about the in-person event that’s happening on April 26th:
http://www.wildershores.com/events.html

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[© 2014 Dawn M. Davidson]

‘Why Knot’ and HuffPost Link

For any of you that might have missed Friday’s HuffingtonPostLive segment on Holiday Survival, Polyamorous Style, you can still catch the recorded show on their website:

Holiday Survival Guide: Polyamorous Edition

Featuring Robyn Trask of Loving More, Billy Holder of Atlanta Poly Weekend, and Rachel Klechevsky, a therapist from New York, the segment addresses some questions regarding the special challenges are faced by polyamorous people during the holidays.

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You may also want to consider donating to the Indiegogo campaign of this independent film, WHY KNOT – Breaking the Silence on Monogamy

According to the campaign website:

[The Director’s] search takes us beyond his bedroom and into the biology of sex, the history of patriarchy and the politics of monogamy where his girlfriend, scientists, polyamorists, Dhruv’s loved one’s, and even tapeworms become a part of this self-reflexive narrative. WHYKNOT is an intellectual and emotional journey through the landscape of monogamy, questioning what it means to be human and to confront this conflict between our instincts and our morals.

The campaign ends on December 27th at midnight, so hop over to the site soon if you wish to contribute to this interesting project that aims to “break the silence on monogamy.”

And remember, even if you experience challenges from family, friends or co-workers this Holiday season…

Love is always OK!

~♥ Dawn

PS: Looking for some help in figuring out how to handle your own sticky poly/open situations this holiday season? I’m running some great Winter Specials on my individual and group coaching. Get up to 50% off time with me! But act soon… the extra low package deals end when the ball drops for the new year!

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[© 2013 Dawn M. Davidson]

TODAY 12/20: HuffPostLive on Polyamory + Other Poly Media

A last-minute heads-up that there will be a segment about Polyamory and the Holidays on HuffingtonPostLive today, Friday 12/20, at 1:40pm Pacific/4:40pm Eastern.  It hasn’t been fully confirmed, but it seems likely that I’ll be one of the speakers on the show, so check it out! The recorded show will be available on the site later, as well.

The topic of the show is what special challenges are faced by polyamorous people during the holidays. For instance, how and when should one come out to family and friends? Before the event? During dinner? What do you do about “plus 1” invitations when you have “plus 2” … or more? How do you handle presents, kids, relatives, and competing invitations? If you spend Christmas with one lover… are you obligated to spend New Years with another?

My contention, while answering pre-show questions was (and is) that in many situations, polyamorous relationships are similar to other sorts of “blended family” relationships. They can have similar challenges and may benefit from similar approaches, such as splitting time between households on various days, or negotiating which partners and family will be at which celebrations, to minimize drama. And of course, talking about things in advance, and making some Agreements is almost always a good idea!

Again, it starts at 1:40pm Pacific time, and is scheduled to run for about 25 minutes. Tune in, and join the conversation!

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sisterwivesIn other news, the decision regarding the Utah Kody Brown (aka “Sister-Wives”) Polygamy case has finally been handed down.  Similarly to the Canadian case two years ago, it looks like the judge has decided that it isn’t illegal to have more than one relationship… just so long as you don’t go seeking any legal recognition for it.

So on the up side, the Browns won’t be prosecuted for their religious marriages, so long as they don’t seek legal any recognition beyond the one existing marriage. That decision should provide some protection — and some precedent — for polyamorous as well as polygamous people in the US.

On the down side however,  in my opinion, is the fact that people in multiple-partner relationships are still being forced into a “Don’t Ask/Don’t Tell” model of sorts. It seems likely to me that not only adults, but also some children are likely to suffer, since some still may not be able to access needed benefits, falling through the cracks in our rather faulty system of health care, etc. And of course there is still no protection against discrimination against multiple-partner relationships in matters of employment, housing, etc. It’s progress, but we still have a long way to go, clearly.

Still, the ruling shows some progress in acknowledging the existence of multiple-partner households. And the increasing presence of poly topics on fora such as HuffPostLive also demonstrate an increasing awareness of ethically non-monogamous options among the general public. While perhaps not exactly the holiday gifts of our dreams, both are certainly better than a lump of coal in our collective poly stockings. 🙂

Here’s hoping your holidays — whatever form they might take, however many people are present, whatever the religious framework or lack thereof — are as full of warmth and love as you could possibly wish!

~♥ Dawn

PS: Looking for some help in figuring out how to handle your own sticky poly/open situations this holiday season? I’m running some great Winter Specials on my individual and group coaching. Get up to 50% off time with me! But act soon… the extra low package deals end when the ball drops for the new year!

love_outside_the_box_white_on_dark_t_shirts-r734308d7aa2c48a6a7a731d0498738ca_8nfnu_216

PPS: Still looking for that special something as a gift for lovers, friends… or yourself? 😉 Check out the selection of t-shirts, mugs, and other goodies in my Love OTB Zazzle store. Use code BE4CHRISTMAS for 50% off express shipping! (ends Sunday)

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[© 2013 Dawn M. Davidson]

Polyamorists Next Door — December 15th!

Elisabeth-SheffDr. Elisabeth Sheff, premier researcher on polyamory and other “alternative” relationship styles has a new book out. It’s called The Polyamorists Next Door: Inside Multiple-Partner Families and Relationships.  Based on personal interviews over nearly a decade, her research sheds new light on polyamorous people in the United States. Right now it’s available as either an e-book or a hardcover book from publisher Rowman and Littlefield.  In order to attract interest from other publishers to do a paperback release, she’s asking that anyone who’s interested in purchasing this book please do so ON SUNDAY DECEMBER 15th, which will hopefully propel the book to the bestseller list on that day.

http://rcm-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/cm?lt1=_blank&bc1=000000&IS2=1&bg1=FFFFFF&fc1=000000&lc1=0000FF&t=unchlove-20&o=1&p=8&l=as4&m=amazon&f=ifr&ref=ss_til&asins=1442222956

Here’s what Dr. Sheff has to say:

If everyone who is interested buys a copy on December 15 then it has a good chance of being rated as the top seller in that category on that day.  Being a best seller is important because it can help get the book published in paperback, which is a lot less expensive to purchase and more likely to be in mainstream bookstores. Rowman and Littlefield only publish hardbacks and ebooks, and if the book is a “best seller” then it will be easier for me to get a different publisher interested in doing another run in paperback.

If your group or organization is interested in learning more about sexual and gender minorities in general or polyamorous families with children in specific, I am available to speak to groups large and small, and willing to travel to do so.  For more information contact me at drelisheff@gmail.com or see my website at http://elisabethsheff.com.

Please help me make this book more affordable to everyone by purchasing it on December 15.

Thanks! I wish you a lovely holiday season.

All the best, Elisabeth

“Eli” Sheff, PhD
Expert witness, educator, speaker, and consultant CEO, Sheff Consulting Group (SCG) http://elisabethsheff.com http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-polyamorists-next-door

I’ve had the pleasure of meeting Dr. Sheff on several occasions, and I can say that she’s not only a fabulous and dedicated researcher, but also a kind and warm-hearted person. Helping her out in this way will also help get her important research into the hands of a wider audience, and (hopefully) pave the way for greater understanding and acceptance of polyamorous people everywhere.

Thanks, Eli, for your excellent research, and I hope that your book sells well on 12/15 and thereafter!

Because Love is always OK!

~♥ Dawn

love_outside_the_box_white_on_dark_t_shirts-r734308d7aa2c48a6a7a731d0498738ca_8nfnu_216PS: Want to declare that you Love Outside the Box? Hop on over to my Love Outside the Box Zazzle store by end of day tomorrow (12/6), and get 50% off all T-shirts, and 20% off everything else!  Use code 48HOURSDEALS at checkout to get your discount. Great for Holiday gifts, too!

 

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[© 2013 Dawn M. Davidson]

Green First Aid Kit

MORE Jealousy First Aid! TODAY, 9/19 at 2:15pm Pacific

Green First Aid KitGreen First Aid Kit

 

Hey folks!  I’m excited!  Kathy Labriola and I are presenting an ALL-NEW teleseminar called MORE Jealousy First Aid.  It’s TODAY, Sept. 19th at 2:15pm Pacific Time.

That teleseminar that Kathy Labriola and I did September 4th was a whole lot of fun! If you haven’t listened to it yet, you can listen to it streaming on the web right below:

Listen to “Jealousy First Aid” — Teleseminar from 9/4/13:

Or listen by phone: dial 1-712-432-3131 and enter Recording ID: 85925220 when prompted. (Get the “free take home materials” by signing up here. You’ll get an email with the above instructions, plus links to download the handouts.)

After the last call, we heard from a number of you that you’d like even MORE techniques — more ways to help deal with jealousy in the moment, and especially more ways to help not only yourself, but also your partner/s. So we think you’ll be happy to know that we are doing another free call on dealing with jealousy!

Thursday September 19th, 2013,
at 2:15 – 3:30pm Pacific

This will be a whole new call, facilitated by Dawn Davidson and Kathy Labriola, two well-known polyamory educators and counselors in the San Francisco Bay Area.

During this class, we’ll review the basics of what jealousy is and why we experience it, and then move on to several NEW techniques to help you navigate these tricky waters. Kathy will help you to identify and change some of the core beliefs that may be fueling your jealousy, and Dawn will lead you through a “trance rehearsal” to help you deal more effectively with jealousy-provoking situations in the future. We’ll also discuss the concept of compersion, and offer up a few ideas for the non-jealous partner, as well as for the person experiencing the jealousy. This teleseminar will again be participatory and will include a Question and Answer period as well as NEW take-home materials for continued learning!
RSVP today for MORE Jealousy First Aid, and get some great information and tips from not just one but TWO experts on riding the Green Wave of Jealousy!

Kathy and I can’t wait for you to join our next call!

…because no matter who or how many you love… Love is ALWAYS OK!

~♥ Dawn

PS:  Have you checked out the “beta version” of my KISSable Agreements Workbook?  It’s available now from my website for only $10!

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[© 2013 Dawn M. Davidson]

(Over-)Communicate, Communicate, Communicate?

Communication

The poly mantra, as they say, is “Communicate, communicate, communicate,” hereinafter represented as “C^3” for brevity in this article. 🙂  We all know (or we learn quickly), that polymory and open relationships take a LOT of communicating.  In fact, a therapist friend of mine, Cat Maness, said yesterday, that her top 5 skills for poly/open relationships are:

  1. Communicate
  2. Communicate
  3. Communicate
  4. Communicate
  5. Scheduling

And I’ll add that the most common thing to communicate about is… scheduling!  We do a lot of talking and writing around here. It’s just part of the process.

That said, there comes a time when some folks feel that C^3 is OVER-communicating.  Recently, for instance, in publicizing the second workshop I’m doing with Kathy Labriola, MORE Jealousy First Aid, I sent out a couple of invites, and Kathy send out an invite, and at least some people on both lists have started to feel like it’s OVER-communicating.  (Theoretically, having Infusionsoft is supposed to help with this, but I’m such  relative n00b at it that I’m still figuring out how to use all the fancy bells and whistles.) The fact, is though, that one person’s “communicating” is another person’s “OVER-communicating.”  People have different preferences, and different levels of comfort with communication.  And that’s natural, too.

One way you can mitigate the mismatches in communication styles is, of course, to make some Agreements about them. 🙂 Here’s where you might want to check into my newly-available “beta” version of my KISSable Agreements Workbook, or to check out Cat Maness’ online Agreement generator.

Another thing to remember, is that sometimes someone may be “over-communicating,” because they aren’t getting a “handshake” from you. There may be a simple fix in making a specific, verbal acknowledgement of the message received. Then they can rest assured that you’ve received the message, and can stop delivering it “just in case you haven’t.”

What’s your comfort level with communication?  Do you believe in C^3? Or do you have other ideas about communication? No matter what, I hope your communications are helpful in whatever sort of relationship/s you have. Because no matter who or how many you love…

Love is always OK!

~♥ Dawn

PS:  Watch for more from both me and Cat Maness, by the way. We’ve got some collaboration in the works for world domination, er… helping everyone we can through consciously co-created Agreements. 😀

PPS: I’m out of town this weekend, teaching at the Church of All Worlds Conclave in Cotati. If you decide to purchase my KISSable Agreements Workbook beta version, it might take me an extra day or two to get it to you. I will do so, never fear!

PPPS: If you can’t be on the live call for the MORE Jealousy First Aid Workshop, don’t worry.  Sign up anyway! You’ll get information on how to access the recording later. 🙂

 

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[© 2013 Dawn M. Davidson]

Poly & Religon

Polyamory and Christianity: Strange Bedfellows, or Loving Companions?

Poly & Religon

Series title at ModernPoly.com

With the recent legal changes and affirmations around same-sex marriage, the conservative right is grappling with their own predictions of doom and gloom and the slippery slope.  The unthinkable has happened, so what could be next?

Those of us who are polyamorous are quite aware that we’ve long been painted as “the bottom of the slippery slope,” so it comes as no surprise to us that fundamentalists, especially Christians (e.g., the Christian Broadcasting Network), are looking to interview poly people on the topic. But while we polyfolk aren’t finding the conservatives particularly surprising, apparently WE are surprising THEM.

In particular, in his recent (and not yet released) interview, Dave Doleshal (founder of the Academic Polyamory Conference) reported that the interviewer for CBN was extremely surprised that there are many Christians who are also polyamorous.  According to Dave, this

“…seemed to make his eyes bug out. It seemed like this was a possibility he had never considered.”

As many of us who are polyamorous already know, there are indeed many poly* Christians.  (By “poly*” I am including those who identify as polygamous as well as polyamorous in this case, as the two groups are certainly overlapping in some ways, though not in others.) There are some who are devoutly Christian, and also poly*. In my practice as well as my personal experience, I have met some that believe that they are fulfilling God’s commandments (e.g., “Love your neighbor as yourself” Mark 12:31) by being poly*. Some consider themselves to be following in the footsteps of Old Testament leaders, such as Kings Solomon and David, who each had many wives, or of Jacob, who famously waited 7 years to marry Rachel in addition to Leah. There is strong precedent for multiple wives (though less precedent for multiple husbands), in the Bible.

Note that we are not talking here about the Unitarians, who have a strong polyamory contingent. Nor are we limiting the discussion to Mormon splinter sects.  Many Christians do not consider either of those groups to be Christians, strictly speaking. We’re talking about Catholics, Episcopals, Lutherans, and many, many more from the mainstream Christian denominations. Some are closeted, and some are open with their Christian communities.  All are Christian AND poly*.

For those of you who might be Christian, but feel the call to being poly* as well, here are a few resources on the topic. [Note:  I have not explored all of these deeply, so this does not constitute a recommendation or endorsement of any particular beliefs, practices or politics; just a link to a few places to look to convince yourself that you are not alone!]

Article on Modern Poly site:

Liberated Christians:
http://www.libchrist.com/

http://www.christianpolygamy.com/

Facebook Group for Poly Christians:
https://www.facebook.com/christian.polyamory

For those who may not know, I myself come out of a conservative Christian background. My ultimate choice was not to stay within the Christian Church, but to pursue Love as a spiritual path.  However, I do understand the mindset and the choices that those who are called to both might face. If you’re ever interested in discussing your own situation with me, feel free to book a free or half price session. I’m happy to listen, and to share any wisdom I can offer, because, as many of you already know, I truly believe that

“No matter who and how many you love, no matter their gender, their body shape or size, their race or the color of their skin, their political affiliation, their talents and abilities, their spiritual or religious leanings, their education…

Love is ALWAYS OK.”

~♥ Dawn

PS:  Have you signed up yet for the FREE teleseminar, “Jealousy First Aid,” that I’m doing on September 4th at 5:45pm, with Kathy Labriola? It’s gonna be great! We’ll run through two tools you can use to reduce feelings of jealousy, and also tell you how you can get her new book The Jealousy Workbook (and hopefully also how you can get MY new book, the KISSable Agreements Workbook!)  Sign up now, so you can get the information on how to call in, and how to get the recording later!

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[© 2013 Dawn M. Davidson]

Green First Aid Kit

Got Jealousy? Get First Aid!

Green First Aid KitHello, all you poly/open folks!

Have you or someone you love ever experienced painful episodes of jealousy in an open relationship?  You know the ones… maybe you feel alternately cold, and hot, and like you want to do damage to the furniture, or your partner, or maybe even yourself.  You want to scream, and feel like this poly/open stuff is just too hard, and you just want to throw in the towel and give up. Ever felt like that?

Yeah, me too! And honestly, who hasn’t? (Well, ok, maybe you haven’t, but if so, I’ll bet your partners have! And that’s not fun either.) Jealousy is all too common, and it’s never fun. Would you be willing to invest about an hour of your time in order to learn effective, practical in-the-moment techniques to reduce these jealous feelings — even as they are happening?

If so, then you”ll want to register for our free teleseminar:                                           

“JEALOUSY FIRST AID”       

Wednesday Sept 4, 2013, at 5:45 to 7pm

This free teleseminar will be facilitated by Dawn Davidson and Kathy Labriola, two well-known polyamory educators and counselors in the San Francisco Bay Area. Understand your jealousy, and learn and practice two very effective exercises to manage your jealousy in this short and powerful class!

During this class, Kathy will help you to create and understand “Your Personal Jealousy Pie Chart” to reduce the fear, anger, and sadness of jealousy. Dawn will lead you through her “Juggling for Idiots” jealousy exercise using a simple modified-EMDR technique that anyone can use to get immediate relief from an acute jealousy episode. This teleseminar will be participatory and will include a Question and Answer period as well as valuable take-home materials for continued learning!
RSVP today for Jealousy First Aid, and get some great information and tips from not just one but TWO experts on de-fanging the green-eyed monster!

Kathy and I can’t wait for you to join our call!

…because no matter who or how many you love… Love is ALWAYS OK!

~ Dawn

Dawn icon portraitDawn Davidson
http://www.loveoutsidethebox.com
loveotb@gmail.com
510-686-3386

kathyLabriolaKathy Labriola, Counselor/Nurse
anarchofeminist@yahoo.com
(510)841-5307
http://www.kathylabriola.com
Pre-order the NEW “The Jealousy Workbook”!

PS:  Having trouble with the signup form, or just want to talk to a human being first?  You can also contact Dawn at LoveOTB@gmail.com, 510-686-3386; or Kathy at anarchofeminist@yahoo.com, or (510)841-5307.

PPS:  Don’t suffer longer than you need to!  RSVP today for Jealousy First Aid!
https://di986.infusionsoft.com/app/form/jfa-event-sign-up

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[© 2013 Dawn M. Davidson]