Category Archives: Q&A

Wilder Shores of Love — FREE call 4/10, 5:15p Pacific

What’s relationship success? Is your relationship a success or not, and how do you tell? How can you use “creative relationship design” to create a successful relationship tailored to your needs, and those of your partner/s?

Please join Francesca Gentille and me (Dawn Davidson of Love Outside the Box) this Thursday, 4/10 at 5:15pmPacific for the FREE INFORMATIONAL CALL about the Wilder Shores of Love!

UPDATE: Here’s the link to the recording!

On the Web join online here:

Dial in number: 415 376 1329
Your Conference Code: 1282710

While this is a call where people can ask questions about our upcoming in-person class (see below), it’s not just a sales call — we are committed to providing value to everyone who joins us on the call! We plan to discuss some issues important to relationship success… starting with the question of what IS relationship “success”, and how do YOU measure it?

So join us on this FREE call, find out more about the Wilder Shore of Love, and share your ideas about creative relationship design!

Hope you can join us… because Love is always ok!

~♥ Dawn

PS: For more information about the in-person event that’s happening on April 26th:

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[© 2014 Dawn M. Davidson]

Dawn icon portrait

Interview: Dawn Davidson (me!)

Dawn icon portrait

A few weeks ago I published an audio interview of Kathy Labriola, author of the popular book on polyamory and open relationships, Love In Abundance: A Counselor’s Advice On Open Relationships.  We had lots of fun doing that, and so Kathy turned around and interviewed me. 🙂  The interview covers a few things, including some discussion about what I do as a coach and a counselor for polyamorous people, a little bit about my KISSable Agreements Workbook and the 5 Reasons Agreements Fail, and also some stuff about Getting To Win-Win-Win.

Tip: If you right-click the link below and open it in a new tab, you should see some sort of player for the interview. You could also choose to play it in iTunes. In part because Kathy had a lot of questions, and in part because I don’t have any editing tools yet (LOL), this interview is just over 21 minutes long.


Do you like these interviews?  Hate ’em?  Want to talk to us about them? Please let us know!

If you have any questions or feedback, you can certainly comment here, write to me, or comment over on my LoveOTB Facebook page.

And remember:  Love is ALWAYS OK!

~♥ Dawn

PS: Got a sticky poly problem you want to talk over? I’m happy to offer a free 30 minute session (by phone, Skype, or in person in the SF Bay Area), just for the asking. Or if you’d like a little more time, I can do 60 minutes for half off.  You can get an intro price session with the PayPal buttons on my webpage, or contact me if you’d like the free 30 minutes, prefer a different payment method, or have any questions.  Want to read what other people have said about my work? Check out my testimonials page. I’d love to hear from you, and learn how I can help your poly life be even better!


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[© 2013 Dawn M. Davidson]

Michael Zwerling, owner of KSCO radio

Dawn & other poly activists on radio 1/21 @10pm Pacific

Michael Zwerling, owner of KSCO radio

Michael Zwerling, owner of KSCO radio

Hey folks: I was unexpectedly on the Radio this morning, along with Sarah Taub, Michael Rios, and a host of other great poly activists! See below for details on how you can listen to the show!  There’s a replay TONIGHT at 10pm, and later there’ll be a podcast to download.


~♥ Dawn

[UPDATE!!  The podcast is up!  Listen to it here:]


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Anderson Cooper on Polyamory

Some great footage out today on the topic of polyamory, from a segment on Anderson Cooper.  Such classics as “Do you all sleep in one big bed,” and “What about the children???”  Check it out:

[Dec. ’14: Links seem expired. Here’s some coverage of this Anderson Cooper polyamory segment over on Poly In the News]


video platformvideo managementvideo solutionsvideo player

Thanks to Jaiya, Jon, and Ian for your bravery and clarity!!


Want to contribute to the discussion? Go vote in the polls!

Poll: Would you date someone polyamorous?

Poll: Can you be connected to two people at once?


~♥ Dawn

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[© 2011 Dawn M. Davidson]

Interchange! and New Education & Trainings Page

Some folks have been curious about the Interchange Counseling Training I participated in a few years back. The wonderful folks over at the Interchange Counseling Institute have recently released an awesome video to give you an idea of some of the benefits and topics covered in the training. Check it out!

As it happens, there’s an Interchange introductory evening in Santa Cruz Wednesday oops! THURSDAY night (9/29/11), and one last intro evening in SF on October 11th. Whether or not you will take the training, attending the intro evening will bring you some awesome exercises and a lot of fun. (If you sign up as a result of my recommendation, please mention my name!)

And finally, to feature this video on a permanent basis, I’ve created a new Page in my About menu (in the SIDEbar; the top menu doesn’t work yet!), that shows this video, and lists my educational background and trainings.


Enjoy, and feel free to ask me questions about any of this, whether here, in private e-mail, or on my FB Page: Love Outside The Box.

 ~♥ Dawn

PS: Thanks to all my Interchange classmates!  You all rock. Thanks for being part of my life.


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[© 2011 Dawn M. Davidson]

Green Eggs and Spam: A Little History of “Polyamory”

Capital Letter In response to someone in Facebook saying (a couple of weeks back) that they hadn’t heard of “Zell, Green Egg or CAW” and wondering if they might be “Pagan communes” I wrote the following explanation of how polyamory and paganism are historically connected.  (You may also want to check out Alan’s awesome research post  at Poly in the News, on the history of the word ‘polyamory’ as well.  If you live for the joy of lex, it’s a big O all by itself!)


~♥ Dawn

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Oops! Road sign

Sometimes, Poly Sux (a request for list entries)

It’s been a challenging week, as you can see by the lack of posts. Real Life(tm) has gotten in the way of a lot of things.  So in the spirit of making lemons out of my lemonade, I have started a list of Why Poly Sux (sometimes).  It’s sort of the Anti-Affirmation list. An antidote to Poly-anna-ism, if you will.

Of course, there are many reasons why poly is GREAT as well, and I’ll get back to those soon.  But right now, I’m feeling curmudgeonly, and I need to get this out of my system!

Some of the items on the list are serious, some less so.  I hope at least a few are entertaining.


(PS:  Feel free to send in your own Reasons Poly Sucks.  Maybe I’ll add them to the list!)

Why Polyamory Sux (Sometimes)

More partners means more jobs and bosses to worry about

With more partners, there are more funerals to attend

More competition for the good chocolates in the box

It’s WRONG.  It should be multi-amory, or polyphilia. But mixing Latin and Greek roots?  Wrong!

More laundry!!

Cover Wars!

Cold Showers.  Brrr

Valentine’s Day breaks the bank!

Mother’s Day/Father’s Day: More parents = more brunches to attend when you’d really rather be asleep!

Doin’ the pee-pee dance because someone’s ALWAYS in the bathroom ahead of you

Fitting everyone in one vehicle

Movies–have you SEEN the prices these days???


I’m too tired to write more tonight. Your Turn!

~♥ Dawn

swingset on a playground

Q&A: Poly vs. Swinging

Are Polyamory and Swinging the same thing?



Capital Letter A My answers range from No to “Yes and No.” In general, the emphasis in polyamory is on the “amory”–love relationships are the POINT. The emphasis in swinging is on the recreational sex, and love relationships are often AVOIDED. That said, it is certainly possible to be both a polyamorous person, and to engage in swinging behaviors, and vice versa. I think the two groups have a lot in common, and more overlap than either extreme would prefer to admit sometimes! I like to consider us strong allies for each other, and friends with similar political goals, in many cases.

~♥ Dawn

Q&A: Why do people consider polyamory bad/wrong?

A few years ago, I spent some time writing answers to all of the polyamory-related questions I could find on Yahoo! Answers.  I kept copies of some of those, since I felt they represented pretty good answers to some commonly asked questions about poly.  Here’s one of them, for your reading pleasure.  Feel free to comment or ask questions!

Why do people consider polyamory bad/wrong?
what is wrong with multiple people in consenting loving relationships? note: polyamory, not polygamy

Additional Details
why do we as a culture view polyamory as bad/wrong?

I don’t personally think there’s anything wrong or bad about polyamory. However, I can tell you what other people have said as to why they believe polyamory is bad/wrong. Most people who object seem to do so because it conflicts with their own beliefs, and/or moral framework. I’ve also heard people object on the grounds that they believe it to be:
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Q&A: Educational Resources on Poly, for Therapists

Capital Letter In the course of life, many people will eventually have need of finding a professional to help them with various emotional or mental health issues.  Because of the societal bias in favor of monogamy, those in polyamorous relationships or other forms of consensual non-monogamy often report that — depending in part on the area of the country in which they reside —  it’s difficult or impossible to find a qualified therapist who even understands about polyamory, let alone treats this relationship choice as a valid and potentially healthy option for relating.

Rubin and Adams (1978) “found that among those clients who had a sexually open marriage and sought therapy, 27% indicated that their therapists were nonsupportive of their nonmonogamous relationship. … Knapp (1975) noted that “the three greatest fears facing prospective alternative lifestyle clients were: therapists’ condemnation of their lifestyle, pressure to return to a ‘healthier’ form of marriage, and being diagnosed in terms of psychopathology” ([2] pp 15-16.) Continue reading