onsorce is a new word derived from the Latin for “cohabitation.” It’s an alternative to “divorce” described in the article Don’t Get a Divorce, Get a ‘Consorce’.* Here’s an excerpt:
“The idea of married couples deciding on a ‘consorce,’ rather than a divorce, is this: Why should a couple split up the family funds, maintain two dwellings, involve the courts in their lives, hire attorneys and cause each other months or years of suffering when they could simply agree that the romantic part of their marriage has ended and that they will remain married and live together as friends and partners, in order to maintain a level of consistency for their children?”
Interestingly, the article insists that those who decide upon a ‘consorce’ arrangement are NOT engaged in an “open marriage,” because they are no longer having sex with one another. I find that an interesting position, and I’m not certain that I would agree.
Here are a few questions that occurred to me as I thought about this concept:
- Is a ‘consorce’ ethical (especially for someone who originally vowed monogamy)?
- Is it good for the children, because it keeps the family “intact”?
- Might it be bad for the children, if, for instance, they remain exposed to volatile emotions, or tension in the home?
- Is it necessary to lie to the children about what’s going on, to preserve the appearance of a “normal family”? What about lying to school officials? Neighbors? Family and friends? Is that ethically justifiable?
- Is a consorce another word for cheating or adultery?
- Conversely, is it polyamory (or at least consensual non-monogamy or ‘designer relationships’) by another name?
- Would a consorce be something to use a Time Limited Agreement on? Why or why not?
PS: One of the services I offer is that of creation of “Life Milestone Ceremonies,” such as weddings, relationship change rituals, baby blessings and other markers of significant life events. Feel free to contact me if you’d like to explore creating a handfasting, handparting, consorce agreement, or any other Agreement or ritual with one or more partners. I’m happy to help support you in having the life and relationships of your dreams!
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[© 2013 Dawn M. Davidson]
*[Thanks to Eric C. in private communication for this interesting link!]