had this whole post ready to go, and then my computer ate it. Murphy and Mercury are laughing at my expense this week! So rather than wait for perfection (I’m “getting a C!” as one of my mentors, Samantha Bennett would say!), I’m posting something shorter now. Please understand it’s not because I think this doesn’t deserve a longer post. It does!
The other day, I had my mind blown. Here’s a quote to start with, although I’m not certain that it’s fully understandable without the full article that goes with it:
“Intimacy is, itself, the relationship between influence and risk.”
The article was first presented as the Opening Keynote at the recent Atlanta Poly Weekend, and is by
a friend and* colleague of mine, maymay. His thought is nuanced, complex, uncomfortable, and highly provoking. I also think it’s brilliant and possibly one of the most important things I’ve read in quite a while. It’s long, so take your time. But I think it will be worth it.
I think this bears directly on some of the stuff I’ve been thinking about a lot recently, e.g., my last post on Primary Privilege, and an earlier one, Appendix A: A model of polyamorous relationships. I’d be very interested to hear your thoughts on any of this.
As always, I welcome your input. I think this deserves a lot of thought, and equal discussion. Feel free to comment here or on my Facebook Page, LoveOTB.
Enjoy… or not… ;^)
*4/26/12, Edited to Add:
Wow. Maymay seems to think it’s perfectly ok to savage those who don’t agree with him 100%, call them names, and accuse them of derailing. That’s not really a communication style that I’m in favor of, and it leaves me feeling pretty uncomfortable to link to his speech. I still think that his main thesis around triadic relationships is bold, interesting, and perhaps brilliant. I remain unconvinced of his assertions about “the BDSM community” being “unrepentantly evil.” At this point, I’m not sure I’d advise attempting to engage him in conversation, in any online medium. The person I was previously pleased to call my friend seems to have left the building, to be replaced by maymay’s personal Mr. Hyde. Your mileage may certainly vary, so feel free to put on your asbestos undies, as they say, and read and/or comment as you see fit. I certainly wouldn’t want to Dominate you without your permission, after all. (*wry smile*)
On the other hand, in the process of looking to see if a copy of his speech (sans comments) happened to be curated somewhere else, I did find this extremely interesting entry by thirdxlucky, On Dyad Fetishism: A Parallel Between Metamour Relationships and Body-Policing. If you still have room for more thinking after reading maymay’s speech (or not reading it, as you decide…), I highly recommend reading this one, too.
©2012, Dawn M. Davidson