Some Resources for Relationships

(and Other Relationships)
From Love Outside the Box


A Few Internet Resources:

Free Downloads!

Got Jealousy? Diagnose It Now!

How Compatible are You?? (aka the Relationship Continua Worksheet)

More FREE stuff!  Downloads, and free teleseminars. 🙂

General Information: – Loving More® Non-profit home page, including newly updated FAQ and local resource links, discussion list, and NEW interactive personals.– Polyamory: What? Why? How?: An EXCELLENT “primer” on polyamory. – home page for the Usenet newsgroup alt.polyamory, this page also has a lot of information about other internet resources, including FAQs, mailing lists, books, movies, etc. – Lively presentation, social networking tools, and open-source approach. – “Life, relationships, and dating as a free agent” Information, posts, and support for “poly singles” and others interested in or practicing polyamory, open relationships, etc. in a “non-dyadic,” “solo,” egalitarian, or not-couple-centric way. – “Guidance and Tools For Open-Hearted People — Because Love is always OK!” Resources, links, free downloads and more from Dawn Davidson, counselor, coach & presenter on polyamory and other alternative relationship styles.

Media: – Media coverage of polyamory documented since 2005. Coverage and commentary by Alan M. – Holly Wilper’s Alt.polyamory FAQ Culture Supplement. Books, movies, music and comic books dealing with polyamory. Rating system for degree of poly content and -friendliness for the books, and very brief synopsis for movies.

Support Groups/Lists/General Info: – SF Bay Area Local discussion and event lists. – Bay Area Polyamory Collective: A collection of Meetup Groups and other listings for Bay Area people interested in polyamory, open relationships, and more. Includes meetups for “Newcomers” in East Bay and SF.

Loving More’s “Love List” email discussion group (moderated) —– “Expansive Loving,” a discussion list and online meeting place for spiritual and “new thought” polyamorists. – for mono people in relationship with poly partners. – for poly people in relationship with mono partners.

Where to meet potential poly partners (in the SF East Bay) — a brainstormed list of places to meet “likeminded” people. Not necessarily poly-specific, and focused on the SF East Bay, but you may find some good ideas even if you’re from elsewhere in the world. 🙂  – SF East Bay Area Local discussion/potluck, once/month or so at rotating East Bay homes.

SF Bay Area Calendars of interest to polyamorous/non-monogamous people: – SF Bay Area Local discussion and event lists.  – SF East Bay Area Local discussion/potluck, once/month or so at rotating East Bay homes. – Bay Area Polyamory Collective: A collection of Meetup Groups and other listings for Bay Area people interested in polyamory, open relationships, and more. Includes meetups for “Newcomers” in East Bay and SF. – Wiki-style interactive map of local poly groups world-wide!– “Expansive Loving,” a discussion list and online meeting place for spiritual and “new thought” polyamorists.

Podcasts & YouTube:

(about polyamory, love, and sacred sexuality) – The longest-running and most listened-to poly podcast to date, host CunningMinx provides a lively show on “Responsible non-monogamy from a kink-friendly, pansexual point of view.” – Poly Advice Nurse: a podcast about polyamory by Betty Baker. Bite-sized leetle podcasts, dealing with poly issues beginning, intermediate, and advanced. – Minister Chuck Smoot talks about love, life, “leather,” race, relationships and religion. – Relationship coach and author Francesca Gentille “explores the writing, spiritual practices and insights of the most famous, infamous, and rarely interviewed Sacred Sexuality experts today.” — “Family,” a series created by Terisa Greenan (available on YouTube) is an episodic tale of alternative love. Set in Seattle, Washington, it follows the lives of Gemma, Ben & Stuart, living together in a long-term, triad relationship. – “Polyamory”: One of the most popular short videos on Polyamory on YouTube.

Agreements and Safer Sex (General Resources):

One example of Safer Sex AgreementsOne example of Relationship Agreements.  These were drawn from Dawn and Akien’s previous Agreements. They were OUR Agreements, and may not be appropriate for you! Use them as a jumping-off point for conversation with your partners. – San Francisco Sex Information. Clearing house for safer sex information and training. Check here for other good links, too. – Click on Find a Center under Health Services to find a location for testing. – A collection of entries in Joreth’s LiveJournal.  Updated periodically, with solid information about current thinking around STIs, and the latest treatments and research. Disclaimer: She’s not a doctor, but a well-informed, scientifically literate poly person.

Get Tested (mostly for Free or donation) in the San Francisco Bay Area — listed by location/city

In SF:
What Yelp has to say about them (5 Stars):

In Berkeley: – Free, anonymous HIV and STD tests.  Note that women can only get HIV testing here.  Men can get a fuller range of STD tests.  Peer counseling.
What Yelp has to say (4.5 Stars):

In Oakland: – HIV/AIDS prevention and resources. Free HIV testing during drop-in clinic, Wed. 9-4:30. Choice of 20 min. or 2 week results window.

In San Jose:

In Santa Cruz: 

Planned Parenthood, downtown  (Yelp has 5 Stars)

In Contra Costa County: – Low-cost or free testing for both men and women.  Hours and locations are limited. Please call 1-800-479-9664 to make an appointment.

Yelp Listing for FREE STD Testing in the Bay Area:

Professional Resources:

Poly-Friendly Professionals –[]=5

Kink-Aware Professionals – Therapists who work with clients interested in and/or practicing BDSM and kink.  Some are also poly-friendly.

Bay Area Open Minds –  San Francisco Bay Area Psychotherapists Affirming Sexual and Gender Diversity.

Educational materials FOR professionals (when you need to educate a therapist about polyamory) –

Diana Adams, Esq. – Lawyer specializing in alternative relationships.

Elisabeth Sheff, PhD – Researcher, author, expert witness for those in alternative relationships.

A Few of the Many Books:

(alphabetically by author; see Amazon books list in sidebar to purchase!)

Anapol, Deborah M. – Polyamory: The New Love Without Limits, IntiNet Resource Center 1997

Block, Jenny – Open: Love, Sex, and Life in an Open Marriage, Seal Press, 2008

Chapman, Gary – The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate, Northfield Publishing, 1992

Chapman, Mim – What Does Polyamory Look Like? Polydiverse Patterns of Loving and Living in Modern Polyamorous Relationships,, 2010

Davidson, Dawn – KISSable Agreements (and Other Secrets to Negotiating in Polyamorous Partnerships), 2013 Available as a pdf download

Easton, Dossie and Liszt, Catherine – The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships& Other Adventures, 2nd Edition, Celestial Arts Press, 2009

Gottman, John M. and Silver, Nan – The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country’s Foremost Relationship Expert, Three Rivers Press, 2000

Kramer, Matt – Conversations before a Marriage, InfoBooks, 1999

Labriola, Kathy – Love In Abundance: A Counselor’s Advice On Open Relationships, Greenery Press, 2010

Labriola, Kathy – The Jealousy Workbook, Greenery Press, 2013

McGarey, Robert – Poly Communication Survival Kit: The Essential Tools for Building and Enhancing Relationships, The Human Potential Center, 2001

Rosenberg, Marshall – Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Compassion, PuddleDancer Press, 1999

Sheff, Elisabeth – The Polyamorists Next Door: Inside Multiple-Partner Relationships and Families, Rowman & Littlefield Publishers, 2013.

Taormino, Tristan – Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships, Cleis Press, 2008

Taylor, Patricia Huntington – The Enchantment of Opposites: How to Create Great Relationships, Traveling Artists, 1997

Veaux, Franklin, and Rickert, Eve – More Than Two: A practical guide to ethical polyamory. Thorntree Press, 2014.

West, Celeste – Lesbian Polyfidelity, Booklegger Publishing, 1996


Conferences & Magazine:

Loving More® –  Sponsors of the Poly Living Conferences. Also chat rooms, articles, personals, and a magazine [now online-only] with articles and information of specific interest to poly-folk.

International Conference on the Future of Monogamy and Non-Monogamy:

Atlanta Poly Weekend –

Polycamp (Seattle, WA) –

Big Poly Fun (Austin, TX) –

Poly Pride Weekend (NYC)

If you have further questions, feel free to contact Dawn.

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©2005-2014, Dawn Davidson

Page last updated 12/18/14