Poly is Part of Our America


It’s official:  Poly IS part of America!
… or at least part of “Our America.” 😉

Tomorrow, Tuesday March 5th, [with a rebroadcast on March 12th, and perhaps more; check listings here] a whole episode devoted to polyamory will appear on the show Our America with Lisa Ling (10pm Eastern on OWN, the Oprah Winfrey Network.)

[Check here for an update on this post], with links to videos on poly parenting, and Loving More Non-profit.

Preview: Monogamy’s Not for Everyone (“I Love You & You…&You”)


First Look: Plenty of Love to Go Around (“I Love You & You…&You”)

And Lisa Ling herself is clear that poly is not exactly the same thing as either swinging or polygamy… because she’s already done episodes on both of those. 🙂 [Hey, check it out! Reid Mihalko is front and center in his Sex Geek t-shirt in the promo pic for the Swingers Next Door episode!  Way to go, Reid. :)]

Robyn Trask of Loving More Nonprofit writes:

Loving More is very excited to announce an upcoming documentary on Polyamory. In August, 2012, we were contacted by producers from the show Our America with Lisa Ling. They were thinking of doing an episode on polyamory. We keep a list of people willing to talk to the press and TV media and set about helping them find families willing to be on camera. The more I spoke with the producers, the more interested they became in the Polyamory Movement and Loving More Nonprofit. We checked them out, as we always do, before forwarding the request. I spoke with Reid Mihalko who had worked with them on an episode about swinging. We watched the show on swinging along with several other documentary episodes of Our America and we were very impressed. We put them together with a family on the East Coast, a family of five adults all living together (Wes, Gina, Jessie, Shaun, Ginny). See their blog Polyskeptic.com

I had talked to one member of the family and to my delight they agreed to work with the Lisa Ling Show. They also filmed my family, Jesus (Chuy) my long term partner, John, whom I was in new relationship with (essentially filming a V-triad), and me as well as several people from our community here in Colorado. During the weekend Lisa did an interview with my sixteen year old daughter Marina, who has been raised in a polyamorous family. The show also found a triad in Vancouver, who I beleive all live together, to film as well. Essentially they have covered a nice cross section of polyamory in different configurations.

Working with the producers, crew and Lisa Ling, who is an award winning journalist, was a delight. We spent three full days filming at our home in Loveland, CO. Overall it was a fun experience and very different from other TV crews I have worked with. We were not able to announce it until now because we agreed to sign a nondisclosure.

We have no idea what the final film/documentary will show or how it will be edited. From experience both, in working with other television and media as well as the shows we have since watched on BDSM and a show on seniors in America, I am confident the show will be done well.

We are having a viewing party here in Colorado in north Denver. Email Robyn@lovemore.com if you are interested in the potluck/viewing party or to join Loving More Nonprofit on meetup groups Colorado. I know a few people elsewhere who are hosting a party or recording for people to see later [e.g., we’re hosting two viewings through the East Bay Poly Potluck and Discussion Group on 3/10 and 3/14; contact Dawn on her website (or by email at LoveOTB@gmail.com) for details!)]

Best wishes to all the families and poly groupings who appeared on this show.  It’s never easy to be this far outside the box (as I well know: e.g., [Nat Geo (cameo)] [Montel 2005 pt 1]). But with the risks, comes the possibility of creating a better world for all poly folks (and other relationship explorers.) Thanks to everyone involved for their part in helping it “get better” for polyamorous folks.

~♥ Dawn

∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥

[© 2013 Dawn M. Davidson]

2 thoughts on “Poly is Part of Our America

  1. Auros

    That looks SO much better than the Showtime “Married and Dating” — the people look… normal. Not unusually toned and camera-ready, not some kind of hippy free-love stereotype, an actual cross-section of the community.

    A minor downside: The producers clearly are still being a leeeetle bit sensationalistic — they’re probably creating the impression that households of 3-5 adults are more common than they are. IME, that’s a seriously tiny fraction of poly households. It seems WAY more common to encounter people who live as pairs.

    I was at a handfasting, almost a year ago, of a couple who had been involved for, I think, 8 years. Their respective spice, whom they’d each been with for something like twice that long, were there to walk them to the altar. It was very sweet. In any case, I think that’s the longest-running relationship cluster in my own network of friends, but they still live something like fifty miles apart.

    1. Uncharted Love / Love Outside the Box Post author

      Auros, I totally agree that most poly people live as singles or pairs. Yes, there are some live-in groups (most often triads of some sort), but most poly folks aren’t co-habitating … yet. 🙂

      One issue with figuring out how long poly relationships have been together is tied to this very topic: Many folks do not live together, and often there are parts of a relationship that are stable over a long time, and other parts of the network that change more often (or at least more recently.) I myself am still technically married (over 20 years), in a relationship with someone in Seattle (over 30 years, though we’re not active right now), in another relationship with someone in the South Bay (something like 5 or 9 years, depending how you count), and yet another one that I live with… which is ironically the *shortest* of them, at “only” 4 years or so (a little over a year of living in the same house.) And of course another triad we know recently “broke up”, with the married couple divorcing, but leaving the remaining cross-couple pair who have been together for “only” 18 years.

      Also, our society doesn’t easily support larger groups at the moment, since all the support and privilege goes to married couples and “nuclear families.” I was looking up AAA road service benefits the other day, to see if I could add my live-in partner. Short answer, “no.” Although there’s room for up to 9 associate members on any given account, only ONE of those may be another adult (either married or living at the same address.) All the rest must be children of the primary account holders (even if they are “away at college” and not living with the adults.) So there are all sorts of pressures that lead to poly groups of more than 2 being relatively less common.

      Sensationalism sells, of course, and the producers are not all that interested in the many many people who look pretty much “normal.” However, I agree that at least this one, being more of a documentary, is filled with real poly people of all sizes, shapes, and colors (not to mention religious affiliations and/or lack thereof!) Progress, not perfection. 😉


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