Oops! Road sign

Sometimes, Poly Sux (a request for list entries)

It’s been a challenging week, as you can see by the lack of posts. Real Life(tm) has gotten in the way of a lot of things.  So in the spirit of making lemons out of my lemonade, I have started a list of Why Poly Sux (sometimes).  It’s sort of the Anti-Affirmation list. An antidote to Poly-anna-ism, if you will.

Of course, there are many reasons why poly is GREAT as well, and I’ll get back to those soon.  But right now, I’m feeling curmudgeonly, and I need to get this out of my system!

Some of the items on the list are serious, some less so.  I hope at least a few are entertaining.


(PS:  Feel free to send in your own Reasons Poly Sucks.  Maybe I’ll add them to the list!)

Why Polyamory Sux (Sometimes)

More partners means more jobs and bosses to worry about

With more partners, there are more funerals to attend

More competition for the good chocolates in the box

It’s WRONG.  It should be multi-amory, or polyphilia. But mixing Latin and Greek roots?  Wrong!

More laundry!!

Cover Wars!

Cold Showers.  Brrr

Valentine’s Day breaks the bank!

Mother’s Day/Father’s Day: More parents = more brunches to attend when you’d really rather be asleep!

Doin’ the pee-pee dance because someone’s ALWAYS in the bathroom ahead of you

Fitting everyone in one vehicle

Movies–have you SEEN the prices these days???


I’m too tired to write more tonight. Your Turn!

~♥ Dawn

6 thoughts on “Sometimes, Poly Sux (a request for list entries)

  1. sophia

    hey, dawn, and there’s always, the EVER POPULAR-but why didn’t you pick ME to celebrate “that” with? another of my favorites: “do you LOVE ME?!” when you are in the middle of enjoying some NRE with a new partner… from your pal in Washington who doesn’t want to reveal her REAL name…

    1. dawnd Post author

      Sophia, I guess maybe I’d classify the first one as a “special” mix of jealousy and whining, which we polys get to hear more often (at least in a romantic context).

      And the second one would be: “Poly sux (sometimes) because of: More clingy-needy people on a day to day basis!” Yay?

      Unfortunately, this POST may qualify as overly needy. Ooops. ;^)

  2. Krishnabrodhi

    Poly never sucks… but quite often people suck at poly. Or to be more accurate they don’t possess the skills to do it well. More often than not people today are coming to poly from a previous mono model. That model doesn’t come with the tools to deal with the truths that you get to hide behind in mono relationships. You don’t get to avoid having your fears of being alone, abandoned, compared and so on by having someone make unrealistic promises to never change in who they are and how they feel. Coping with those truths and those fears and truths is not easy. But the alternative is something I for one am not attracted to. And yes there are time and space management issues to deal with but those exist in all relationships.

    To me to say that poly sucks is an unfair semantic error. If I take a bit out of a piece of pizza and I don’t like it… I’ll say I don’t like it. I wont say the pizza sucks because the truth is someone else could come along and love the hell out of pizza with little fish on it. The same goes for poly… just because you don’t like it or are not up to the effort it takes to do it well doesn’t mean that poly sucks. It means you might need to find a kind of pizza that is more suited for your taste buds.

    1. dawnd Post author

      @Krishnabrodhi — Well, on my enlightened days, I agree with you. You’ve said everything that I believe most of the time. But Poly is Another Fucking Growth Opportunity, for sure. Is that BAD? No. I just said it Sux (sometimes). I think may…be you missed that “sometimes,” or maybe missed my dark sense of humor in here (it’s notoriously hard to see humor on the internet). I’m not saying that Poly is BAD, or that these skills can’t be learned. I’m just saying that every once in a while, I’m bloody TIRED of “being enlightened,” and “taking the high road,” and being the one to “rise above it all.” I get TIRED of being Poly-Anna (no offense to my good friend and former metamour Anna–LOL!)

      Most of the time, when I’m feeling this way, I suck it up, and go inside, and find things to write Affirmations and Gratitudes about. It does work well. But every once in a while, when I’ve had pizza nine days in a row, yes, I WILL say “Pizza Sux!” It’s about how I feel *in the moment*, not how I feel all the time. Is it 100% accurate? Nope. It’s an expression of feeling, not a literal fact, as you pointed out above. But is it just about needing a different flavor of pizza? No, not that either. Sometimes I need Chinese food, or Italian. Or a walk. And like Pizza, sometimes poly sux–FOR ME, right now, here in this moment. And that’s ok too.

      Like I said in the actual article, poly has plenty of great things to offer, and on some other day, I’ll write about them (I usually do, in fact). But that’s gonna be on some day when my partner hasn’t been fired, and one of his ex-partners (and the mother of one of his children) hasn’t just died, nor his tires gotten punctured… yadda yadda yadda. Sure, none of these things are specifically poly. It’s just as valid to say “Life Sux (sometimes)!” But my blog isn’t about “life” in general–it’s about poly. And the fact is, there’s a flip-side to all of these things that we poly folk talk up all the time. Poly ISN’T just roses–sometimes it’s the thorns too. And it’s OK to admit that on occasion.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *