orry for the delay in posting, folks! Since my last post, I’ve been off visiting a lover in another city, and then participating in the Human Awareness Institute Level 2 (“Loving Yourself”) workshop. Both experiences have been both fun and “opportunities for growth.” 😉
Earlier this week, I posted something over on a blog not related to polyamory, but instead, about living with Attention Deficit (Hyperactivity) Disorder. I shared that post in my personal journal and wrote more about it there, if you’d like to check that out.
I hadn’t originally posted it here, because it’s not directly related to polyamory. However, there IS a connection, because my current plan is to facilitate a related discussion session at the upcoming OPEN-SF Conference in June, a great new conference here in the Bay Area for people in all forms of open, polyamorous, or ethically non-monogamous relationships. The presenters haven’t been finalized yet, so there’s a possibility that this isn’t exactly what will happen, or it might not happen at all. But as a quick way to give some context, here’s what I proposed to the committee:
Polyamory, OPEN Relationships, & Cognitive Differences (For those who love AND think ‘outside the box’!)
Being polyamorous (or otherwise OPEN) is hard enough when your brain is “normal.” What if you or your partner/s are non-neurotypical in some way? AD(H)D, Aspie/Autie, Learning Disabled (LD), memory issues, cognitive changes/effects/side-effects due to surgery or medications — all these and more can present special relating challenges that are amplified in open, polyamorous, and/or ethically non-monogamous relationships of any sort. Differing perceptions and/or abilities can affect agreements, communication, time management, and sexual needs or responses. Often these differences lead to pain and misunderstandings that might be avoided with greater awareness. Come join other people struggling with these issues to discuss the most common situations, pose questions, share stories and suggestions, offer tips or tools, and brainstorm new approaches. All people dealing with these relationship issues are welcome, whether you personally identify with one of these groups, or you are in relationship with someone who does.
I hope you’ll join me at the conference! As far as I can tell, there aren’t many people talking about how polyamory and cognitive differences interact. In some ways, that’s strange, because it’s my experience that there are a LOT of people drawn to polyamory who are cognitively unusual. Or maybe it’s just me, that I seem to attract and be attracted to people who “think outside the box!” *laugh* Either way, all of these things are drawn up together for me by the weekend’s workshop on loving and accepting myself. It’s clear that my ADD (not much “Hyperactivity” for me, at least not as an adult) affects my ability to maintain consistent connection with you all, for instance, as well as has an effect on my 1:1 or 1:few relationships. It’s also clear that the more I love and accept myself, the less time and energy I’m spending fighting myself, and the more I can put toward accomplishing things in the world (e.g., actually writing that book!) and sharing the things I’ve learned with others who might benefit. The less I hamper myself with fear and shame around who I am — whether that’s poly, pagan, ADD, or something else — the more I can experience love, connection, and abundance in my life. The more I can experience love, connection, and abundance in my life, the more energy I’ll have to share my experience and talents with others. It becomes a self-supporting cycle of win. 🙂
To that end (and in keeping with my commitment to Blog With Integrity), I’m investing in myself and in my business by getting started with Infusionsoft. By accepting that I need help with my business (hello, ADD!), and that I just can’t manage with individual email lists or standalone CRM solutions etc., it should help me be more consistently connected to all of you, and free me to do more work writing that book and sharing in other ways. Nothing will change instantly, but over time, I’ll be making offers for you to join a different e-mail or newsletter list, and setting things up so I’m able to be more consistent in managing my connections with you. In the meantime, I still invite you to experience my personal and relationship coaching/counseling via contacting me for an introductory session. I’d love to share my own experience and tools, and to help you realize your own dreams as relationship explorers.
Here’s to all of you accepting yourselves fully, and to creating a cycle of win for yourself and your abundant love/s!
©2012, Dawn M. Davidson