Tag Archives: media

(Over-)Communicate, Communicate, Communicate?

Communication

The poly mantra, as they say, is “Communicate, communicate, communicate,” hereinafter represented as “C^3” for brevity in this article. 🙂  We all know (or we learn quickly), that polymory and open relationships take a LOT of communicating.  In fact, a therapist friend of mine, Cat Maness, said yesterday, that her top 5 skills for poly/open relationships are:

  1. Communicate
  2. Communicate
  3. Communicate
  4. Communicate
  5. Scheduling

And I’ll add that the most common thing to communicate about is… scheduling!  We do a lot of talking and writing around here. It’s just part of the process.

That said, there comes a time when some folks feel that C^3 is OVER-communicating.  Recently, for instance, in publicizing the second workshop I’m doing with Kathy Labriola, MORE Jealousy First Aid, I sent out a couple of invites, and Kathy send out an invite, and at least some people on both lists have started to feel like it’s OVER-communicating.  (Theoretically, having Infusionsoft is supposed to help with this, but I’m such  relative n00b at it that I’m still figuring out how to use all the fancy bells and whistles.) The fact, is though, that one person’s “communicating” is another person’s “OVER-communicating.”  People have different preferences, and different levels of comfort with communication.  And that’s natural, too.

One way you can mitigate the mismatches in communication styles is, of course, to make some Agreements about them. 🙂 Here’s where you might want to check into my newly-available “beta” version of my KISSable Agreements Workbook, or to check out Cat Maness’ online Agreement generator.

Another thing to remember, is that sometimes someone may be “over-communicating,” because they aren’t getting a “handshake” from you. There may be a simple fix in making a specific, verbal acknowledgement of the message received. Then they can rest assured that you’ve received the message, and can stop delivering it “just in case you haven’t.”

What’s your comfort level with communication?  Do you believe in C^3? Or do you have other ideas about communication? No matter what, I hope your communications are helpful in whatever sort of relationship/s you have. Because no matter who or how many you love…

Love is always OK!

~♥ Dawn

PS:  Watch for more from both me and Cat Maness, by the way. We’ve got some collaboration in the works for world domination, er… helping everyone we can through consciously co-created Agreements. 😀

PPS: I’m out of town this weekend, teaching at the Church of All Worlds Conclave in Cotati. If you decide to purchase my KISSable Agreements Workbook beta version, it might take me an extra day or two to get it to you. I will do so, never fear!

PPPS: If you can’t be on the live call for the MORE Jealousy First Aid Workshop, don’t worry.  Sign up anyway! You’ll get information on how to access the recording later. 🙂

 

∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥

[© 2013 Dawn M. Davidson]

Polyamory: Married and Dating TV Show

Is Polyamory All About the Sex? (Or, Reality TV vs Reality)

Polyamory: Married and Dating TV Show

Opening screen from Showtime series

Those of you with cable will probably know that Showtime’s second season of Polyamory: Married and Dating started in August. Based on early reports of “more diversity,” and the producer talking to “families from the heartland,” I had had higher hopes for this season than last.  I haven’t seen the show myself yet (viewing parties are being scheduled!), but I have heard from some of my friends, and frankly, they weren’t impressed.  “You’d think all we poly folk ever do is have sex, or talk about having sex,” was more or less the comment from one of my friends who’s actually seen all of this season’s shows so far.  Since that was pretty much my complaint last year, I have to say I’m not shocked by my friend’s assessment. The show isn’t a particularly representative sample of differing poly relationship styles, unfortunately. Of course, this is a “reality” TV show, not a documentary, so we do have to take that into account. Sex sells, and sales drive ratings, after all.

As usual, Alan M. of Poly In The News is covering the show in detail, including some clips and a lot of analysis.  Alan’s opinion seems fairly favorable (again), though that’s not without reason.  The San Diego group, and Kamala in particular (in my opinion), have pretty good communication skills, and really are interested in showing the world that polyamory can work — and how their version of it works, in particular. Kamala often says things that I agree with wholeheartedly, such as this quote that Alan M. reports:

“You need a tribe. You need a community. It’s so much better than trying to do this alone.”
Kamala Devi, as quoted in Poly in the News

It’s not that polyamory is never  about sex of course — I myself have said that polyamory is just as much about sex (or not) as any monogamous relationship. Sex is part of the vast majority of adult human romantic relationships. It just so happens that their version of polyamory involves a lot more sex than the versions of most of the people *I* know! This clip from episode 3 encapsulates some of my sense of Michael’s heavy focus on sex:

He seems to have a hard time separating sex and closeness. His new partner Rachel seems to have a hard time understanding his difficulty:

Rachel, bemused: “I’m trying to understand the way this conversation is going.” Getting into bed with her lover’s wife is not how she usually thinks of “going deeper” with a lover, she explains.
— as quoted by Alan M. in Poly in the News

So what’s the harm in portraying polyamory as primarily about the sex? Hard to say. After all, it’s actually true for some percentage of poly people. On the other hand, as my friend expressed to me, if this were your only exposure to polyamory, you might get the wrong idea, or at least a very skewed one, and think that polyamory is always primarily about sex. [Hint: It’s not.] I myself have a suspicion that my having suggested that an old friend watch the show (before I saw it, last year) might indeed have contributed to said friend’s sudden cessation of contact shortly thereafter. Certainly he seemed to think I wanted something much different than I actually did.

In my opinion, the real concern, though, is that all this focus on sex contributes to the cultural ideas that lead to “Michael Carey” on Slate writing this excellent article “Why I’m Still in the Polyamory Closet.” As “Michael” writes:

I have never, ever been out as poly in a workplace. Start trying to explain consensual non-monogamy, and some people—a lot of people—are going to think you’re obsessed with sex. (Never mind that I’ve been with my wife, Rose, for 10 years, have been married for three, and in all that time the two of us have dated fewer people than plenty of serially monogamous singles I know.) Some co-workers may avoid polyamorous colleagues because they’re paranoid that they may be on the prowl. Others will become distrustful because they think that poly is an attempt to re-label behavior that they consider cheating, and cheaters aren’t trustworthy.

Exactly. The assumption is that polyamory is all about sex, whether or not that’s actually the case.  It’s stereotyping. So again, what’s problematic with portraying polyamory as being “about sex”? Here’s what:

“…you don’t know if your neighbors are poly (or whatever other term they may use), because they’re still afraid that if they don’t hide that aspect of their lives from you, something bad might happen. Those potential consequences range from having all future interactions feel awkward to having authorities take away their children.”  — Michael Carey, in Slate

(Note that that link he gives above is to the relatively old April Divilbiss case, but many more recent instances of polyamorous people losing their children in custody battles have occurred, enough to cause there to be several polyamory legal defense funds and organizations created. It is definitely still an active concern for many polyamorous families.)

So this, then, is why I remain somewhat skeptical of the show and its impact on real polyamorous people. Polyamory is big enough to command a TV show all of its own now, and that’s definitely progress.  But the heavy sex emphasis contributes to some negative stereotypes with some very serious potential consequences indeed. It’s progress with a price, at the very least.

I’ll watch the show, and I won’t tell others not to watch it… but I WILL recommend that you keep firmly in mind the fact that “reality TV” is a whole lot more about “TV,” than about “reality.”

~♥ Dawn

PS:  The teleseminar I did with Kathy Labriola on Wednesday was a rousing success!  So much so that we’ve scheduled a second one for Thursday afternoon September 19th at 2:15pm Pacific time. We’ll cover several more tools for dealing with jealousy in yourself, and in your partner/s!

Did you miss the first one, or do you want to listen again? Fill out this form!  You’ll be able to listen to the recording for FREE, and you’ll get notified of the second teleseminar, as soon as we have details available.  We’d love to have you join us!

 

∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥

[© 2013 Dawn M. Davidson]

 

 

Robyn Trask photo

Agreements Webinar Wed Aug 14th — Plus Discount!

Robyn Trask photo

Robyn Trask, head of Loving More Nonprofit

Good news, everybody! Loving More Non-profit is continuing their informative webinar series, Wednesday August 14 at 7pm Mountain Time/6pm Pacific/ 9pm Eastern. This month’s webinar is on a topic near and dear to my own heart: “Negotiating Boundaries and Polyamorous Relationship Agreements.” It’ll be presented by head of Loving More, Robyn Trask,

NOTE: Usually these webinars are $9 for non-members of Loving More, but Robyn is allowing me to offer a special deal for you to get a 10% discount.  Just use code DAWND when you sign up for the webinar!

You can read the whole announcement and sign up for this month’s webinar here: https://www.lovemore.com/conferences/polyamory-webinar/

August 14th, 2013 – 7:00 pm Mountain Time
PLEASE NOTE: Time listed is Mountain – Space is limited!!

Negotiating Boundaries and Polyamorous Relationship Agreements
with Robyn Trask

One of the biggest challenges in polyamorous relationships (actually all relationships) is understanding our boundaries, creating agreements that work as well as knowing how to negotiate and navigate the complexity of our emotional responses. This webinar will go through the basics of understanding boundaries and negotiating agreements that help create a safe container to expand love and connections. Included in the discussion will be safer sex agreements, how agreements change and evolve over time, finding what works for you and your partner/s and how agreements can be an important part in expending connections and creating lasting relationships.

Register Here

*Registration for this webinar is FREE for Loving More annual and monthly donating members, or is $9 for non-members, and is on a first come, first serve basis. You must fill out the registration form from the link below to attend.

Remember:  Use Discount code DAWND for 10% off when you register!

Members need to contact Loving More directly — Robyn@lovemore.com — to receive member discount information. Include full name and and  type of donating member – monthly or annual.

(PSSST: Want to try out the Loving More webinar series for FREE?  Listen to the recording of the May webinar anytime!  — “Beyond Monogamy? Introduction to Polyamory and Other Relationship Choices” with Robyn Trask)

Want yet more information about Agreements?  Check out my KISSable Agreements Workbook entries! Or download the excerpt of the workbook, called Getting to Win-Win-Win.

May you always love boldly, safely, and well!

~♥ Dawn

PS: Want to set up some Agreements for yourself, but don’t know where to start? I’m happy to do a free 30 minute, or a 1/2 price 60 minute phone session with you, to get you started. Get clear on how to figure out what your needs are, and how those relate to Agreements.  Want more help?  I’m happy to walk you through the process of setting up Agreements, step by step!  I’m even running a summer special, so you can save over 30% on a package! Contact me via my webform, Or call me (510-686-3386) to set up a time for a free intro session!

 

∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥

[© 2013 Dawn M. Davidson]

Owning Ourselves, Our Loves, and Our Desires

 

Who owns YOUR bed??

Who owns YOUR bed??

Today I ran across an interesting article, about one woman’s journey of self discovery.  You can read it under the title: Finally Embracing Desire.

The author, Monique, chronicles some of the changes taking place within her, as she moves her consciousness from the compulsory-monogamy paradigm, toward the idea that she (as the original title apparently said), can “own her own bed,” (http://www.purpleclover.com/relationships/576-finally-owning-my-bed/) and make her own choices about with whom she shares her bed — and her life and love:

…I watched myself as many old beliefs dissolved. The first to go was my need to feel like I’m “special.” This need had fogged my desire for love and acceptance, preventing me from offering my true self in relationships. I’d preferred to disguise myself as whatever I thought my partner desired so that he would make me the most special love.

I think the original title gets to the heart of some of the changes necessary in making this shift from compulsory-monogamy, into other ways of viewing relating (e.g., open relationships, open marriages, polyamory, etc.) A reliance upon external authority is gradually replaced by an understanding of personal responsibility. Ownership and control of partners (e.g., in marriage) is replaced by respect for individual needs. The dichotomy of Dependence/Independence merges toward freely-chosen Interdependence. As Monique shifts from others “owning her bed” (e.g., partners, religious authorities, or the government through marriage), she takes on more and more of her own authority — and her own power — to make her own choices, and to live with the consequences of those choices, thoughtfully and responsibly.

(BTW: If you’re interested in exploring these topics — ownership, primary privilege, paradigm shifts —  further, you can find a few more paradigm shifts within the report called “Is It Over,” downloadable for free on my website (with your valid email). I’ve also made a few other posts about primary/couple privilege, and the concept of “ownership” in relationship, which you can find here: http://blog.loveoutsidethebox.com/?s=primary+privilege. I’m also always happy to discuss these concepts with you in a free exploratory 30 minute session if you’d like to go a bit deeper.)

Monique concludes her essay by saying:

I never thought I would actually place myself, at forty-five, on a new road to self-discovery that would challenge something so core to my way of being. But I’ve decided that being myself and honoring the call to be sexually expressed as a sensual woman is not only okay, it’s paramount.

What paradigm shifts have you experienced in your life? Which ones have most affected your poly/open relationships? What values are of of “paramount” importance to you, and honoring the call to be fully yourself? What choices and actions might take you away from your true self?

As always, you can comment here, or on my Facebook page, Love Outside the Box.  Or drop me a note via my LoveOTB Contact form.

And remember:

Love is an amazing thing.  It can be a wild tempestuous journey, or a sweet, quiet smile between friends. It can make us feel the best and the worst that we ever feel in our lives. Love is often a teacher. Sometimes it’s a spiritual journey… or a crucible of change. We often don’t choose who and how we love, even though we can choose how and when to express that. But no matter what makes your love special, no matter how long or short that love is, no matter who and how many you love…

Love is always OK.  And so are YOU. — Dawn Davidson, in “Love Is OK”

~♥ Dawn

PS: Want to talk more at length about designing your own best relationship/s? I’m running a Summer Special right now, where you can get a free hour if you purchase a 6-hour package.  And as always, I’m happy to do a  FREE 30 minute, or a 1/2 price 60 minute phone session with you. Contact me via email, or call me (510-686-3386) to set up a time for a free intro session!

∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥

[© 2013 Dawn M. Davidson]

Flying Pig Magnet from City Royalty, available on Zazzle

Marriage Isn’t the Only Way to Secure Human (and Poly) Rights

With the exciting developments of last week around striking down part of DOMA, and lifting the ban on same sex marriage in California (read lots more in Poly in the News), there’s a lot of discussion about marriage as the vehicle for various rights and privileges.  Political pundits on both sides of the aisle are starting to realize that now that pigs have flown, the reality of that slippery slope argument is imminently upon us.  In other words now that one group of people have been granted access to marriage rights, what about all the others who still don’t have those rights?  Say, for instance, the many un- (or under-)insured children of polyamorous or polygamous relationships? It becomes more and more difficult to maintain (at least with a straight face) that children of one relationship style (heterosexual dyadic marriage) are more deserving of healthcare and other rights than are children of other relationship styles, now that the heterosexual-only barrier has been broken.

That said, it’s unlikely in the extreme that plural marriages will be granted equal marriage rights anytime soon. In legal red tape terms, granting marriage rights to same sex couples is exactly the same as granting them to heterosexual couples. Granting them to multiple spouses, however, is a whole ‘nother kettle of fish indeed. (Those who have been through a divorce are already rolling their eyes even as I type…)

To those who are engaging in hand-wringing and predictions of doom and despair, the best possible response may be, “Yes.  So?” Or to put it slightly more completely, “yes, many people in our `country don’t have equal rights even yet. So what is this society going to do about it? Making plural marriage legal (or decriminalizing it) is only one possible option to making sure that millions of children have adequate health care and other benefits.  We’re not set on that as the ONLY option. Would you like to talk about some others, such as separating individual human rights from the religious-based institution of marriage?”

No matter what happens in the future, the sad fact is that polyamory is discriminated against in many ways.  We are not (yet) protected by the anti-discrimination laws that cover same sex couples for instance, so the spectre of losing jobs (or failing to get them), getting discriminated against in housing matters (including retirement communities), and losing children in a custody dispute is very real indeed. Getting equal access to rights and privileges granted to married couples is certainly one way to gain some protections, but it’s not the only way.

Ken Haslam (retired MD, and curator of the Polyamory Collection at the Kinsey Library) reminded the Poly Leadership Network today of a paper written by Ann Tweedy, discussing the possibility of getting the protections afforded under the anti-discrimination laws I mentioned above, by asserting that polyamory should already be covered as a “sexual orientation.”  She makes some excellent and cogent arguments, and I highly recommend reading the abstract, and the whole paper if you can lay your hands on it.

In the meantime, you might want to brush up your responses to the “slippery slope” arguments, including but not limited to “oh, you mean polygamy? I didn’t know you were a Mormon!” You might want to check the handy table I posted recently, for this purpose. 🙂

Remember, no matter who or how many you love, Love is ALWAYS OK!

~♥ Dawn

PS: I’m running a SUMMER COACHING Special right now. I’d love to help you avoid the seemingly inevitable arguments and Agreements failures that come with the increasing complexity of polyamory and/or open relationships. Check out the special deals on my coaching (and Wedding Packages!) on my website. Buy now, and save over 30% off full price. 🙂  Not sure? Check out my testimonials page to see what others are saying, and/or contact me to set up a time for a free 30 minute exploratory session. Because Love is Always OK!

A

Stigma Over Open Relationships Changing, Says Study

A new psychological study by Kevin Zimmerman from Iowa State University suggests that “the stigma over open relationships could be changing, and in the future, this lifestyle might even become the norm.”

Clients in Sexually Open Relationships: Considerations for Therapists

The author seems to have a good grasp of the territory of open, polyamorous, and otherwise non-monogamous relationships. As quoted in the Huffington Post Blog about the article:

Zimmerman raises the question of whether we could be socialized to believe that to be devoted to a second person is to love the first less, even though this standard does not apply when discussing adoring more than one child, for example.

Zimmerman explains that open relationships are different from infidelity or cheating because partners agree on the sexual boundaries of the relationship, and there is no deception about sex. Successful open relationships typically involve those who privilege authenticity over conformity in their relationships. ‘Open’ relationships can be characterised by more honesty and better observation of boundaries.

While many people, especially in more conservative parts of our culture, believe that non-monogamous relationships (especially polygamy) are always bad, and inherently anti-feminist, Zimmerman challenges this ideas, saying

‘open’ relationships are sometimes seen as raising the status of women, releasing them to be with whom they want, bestowing greater power over their own bodies.

Additionally, Zimmerman correctly points out that monogamy is actually far less dominant that we’ve been led to believe:

Of the 185 human societies investigated in one study, only 29 restricted their members to monogamy… .

What do you think?  Are open relationships becoming less stigmatized? Is that true of only some types of open relationships?  Are there “good” or “bad” kinds of open relationships?

No matter what, change is on the horizon, and our society seems to be becoming more and more open to the possibility of “open.” 🙂

May you always love boldly, safely and well,

~♥ Dawn

PS: Want to set up a time to talk with me about open relationships, polyamory, monogamy, and/or how to design your own best relationships? I’m happy to do a free 30 minute, or a 1/2 price 60 minute phone session with you. Get clear on what your relationship structure is, and underlying assumptions about rules and boundaries, and your relationship/s will be easier and happier! Or call me (510-686-3386) to set up a time for a free intro session!

∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥

[© 2013 Dawn M. Davidson]

 

Patricia Pearce

Love’s Marathon [sharing a post by Patricia Pearce]

Patricia Pearce

Patricia Pearce

My friend Patricia Pearce often inspires me with her writings (or sometimes her friends do, as guest bloggers.)  This week she wrote another deep and thoughtful post on the tragedy of the bombings at the Boston Marathon, called Love’s Marathon. I highly recommend that you read it all. To get you started, here’s an excerpt:

In my understanding, the fundamental spiritual truth is that all things and all beings are interconnected, part of one body — Love — that animates the Universe. Atrocities such as Monday’s bombing in Boston do violence to that fundamental truth of interconnection by enacting a story of division. They are assaults on Love.

But because Love is the reality of complete oneness, even those who enact the story of division are not, cannot, be cast out of Love, because there is no “outside” of Love.

Once when I was walking a labyrinth on retreat, I received a teaching. “There are no enemies,” it said. “There are only those who do not know who they are.” There are only those who are not conscious that they are cells, as we all are, in the one body of Love.

[read the rest here]

I’ve been thinking a lot about Love this week, and about enemies, about division, and separation.  About what it means to love, to be an enemy (of), to support or betray.  Patricia points out that there is no “outside” of Love.  Love is intrinsically whole, intrinsically inclusive. There are people who try to say that, by loving “outside the box,” that I am outside of Love. That people whose love doesn’t fit societal expectations, such as those with same-sex partnerships, are somehow less deserving of being included in Love. I think this is nonsensical. Those who feel they must “protect the sanctity of marriage” by excluding one or another form of love are, as Patricia says, “enacting a story of division.” Love is bigger than marriage.  Love needs no “protection,” because it is bigger than the boxes we humans try to keep it locked up inside.

LoveOTB_DkPurp_72px_Clip

My logo, by the way, is a visual representation of this concept.  Love is literally outside of the box, the heart surrounding the smaller box at the center. It is impossible for the box — for me, or for others — to be outside of Love, because Love is bigger than the confining walls.  Love is unable to be contained … and also still open, with room to let more love, more people, inside.

When I get scared, and when others around me get scared, we tend to put up walls and barriers. Our intent is to create safety, but what we end up creating is separation.  We want love, but in our attempt to hold on to love, we create fear and pain, loneliness and suffering.  The hard thing, as Patricia says, is to continue to keep our hearts open, even in the face of pain and suffering. Even in the face of tragedy. Because without opening ourselves, and risking our own hearts, there is no way for us to remember that separateness is an illusion, that we all are one, and that there is room enough for everyone inside the welcoming heart of Love.

Fortunately for those of us who love outside the box, we’re used to running “Love’s Marathon”– we’re used to continuing to open ourselves to Love and to possibility, even when it brings us some pain in the shorter term, because we know (or trust) that the end of the journey is worthwhile. It’s not always easy — but then, worthwhile things rarely are. So when someone is casting ME out, or viewing me as an enemy, I get to remember that they’ve probably forgotten who they are.  And that makes it easier to love them in that moment, because I can remember that the separation is an illusion, and hope that soon, they will remember it themselves. I can hold that space of remembering that we are not separate, until they can remember it too, and then we can be together in Love again.

Wishing you Love and inclusion,

~♥ Dawn

PS: I first met Patricia in a course by my friend and mentor Samantha Bennett.  Sam has a course coming up this spring (her “Monster Get It Done telecourse), and since she’s rearranged the schedule so it starts next week instead of this one, you can still hop on the bandwagon. The way you learn how to sign up for the Monster Get It Done is to listen to the AWESOME teleseminar Get Unstuckified: Why You’re Procrastinating On the Important Stuff and What To Do About It.

I’m proud to be a Really Big Fan (aka Affiliate) of Sam’s, so if you choose to purchase the course through this link, I’ll get a referral fee. But I trust that you will do your own homework, and only purchase stuff that you know is right for YOU. I’ll be there in the course too, and on the calls, so you know I’m not just trying to get money here; I really believe in what Sam has to offer, and I think it’s worthwhile.

And I think that if we can all get ourselves “Unstuckified,” it will be easier for us to remember that we’re really all connected, and really all a part of LOVE.  After all… Love is ALWAYS OK.

love_is_ok_rainbow_heart_tshirt

∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥

[© 2013 Dawn M. Davidson]

Interview with Kathy Labriola

kathyLabriola

Kathy Labriola, Author of Love In Abundance

The interview I did with Jessica Burde was so much fun, I decided to do another one!  This time I interviewed Kathy Labriola, well-known counselor/nurse, and author of the popular book on polyamory and open relationships, Love In Abundance: A Counselor’s Advice On Open Relationships.

As many of you know, Kathy is a great resource for people in polyamorous or open relationships. She’s been practicing some form of polyamory/open relationships for about 40 years, and has been counseling others for more than two decades. She’s very dedicated to serving the low-income population, and has been providing excellent advice for many years via her variety of free pamphlets, which she mailed out to any who requested them. Any by “mail” I mean she licked the stamp and dropped it in the mailbox, because she started long before the internet existed!

Cover of "Love In Abundance", by Kathy Labriola

Love In Abundance,” by Kathy Labriola

So I was very excited when Kathy accepted my offer to interview her, so I could share some of her great knowledge with others. As last time, we conducted this interview via Skype in audio only.  What I did not do this time, however, was to transcribe the interview. Sorry! You’ll need to listen to the recording in order to enjoy Kathy’s excellent discussion about the three main types of open relationships, and a few of her many tips on what makes people successful. And as a bonus, at the end of the interview, Kathy shares her favorite jokes about polyamory! (If you’d like to volunteer to do the transcription, both Kathy and I would appreciate it!)

Tip: If you right-click the link and open it in a new tab, you should see some sort of player for the interview. You could also choose to play it in iTunes. The interview is just over 18 minutes long.

DawnDavidsonInterviewsKathyLabriola4.1.13

If you’d like to order Kathy’s book, you can get it directly from her own website:
http://www.kathylabriola.com/Love-in-Abundance

You can also get it from Amazon (and if you click on the link below I’ll get a tiny, tiny percentage), but honestly, Kathy keeps more of it if you buy it directly from here: http://www.kathylabriola.com/Love-in-Abundance.

Hope you enjoy listening to the interview as much as we enjoyed recording it!

~♥ Dawn

PS: There’s more to come!  The same day we recorded this interview, Kathy also interviewed me.  So watch this space for another recording. Also, Kathy is in the process of writing a new book, The Jealousy Workbook (which will appear next spring from Greenery Press), to which I’ve contributed a technique for battling jealousy.  I’ll certainly be announcing it when it appears, so if you’d like advance notice on that, you can sign up for my LoveOTB List. (Kathy doesn’t have a list, though of course she’ll announce it on her website as well.)

∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥

[© 2013 Dawn M. Davidson]

More Poly Media

Poly vs. Tea Party on ABC-TV

Poly vs. Tea Party on ABC-TV

I’ve been busy this past week at a business conference, InfusionCon. A 7am to 11pm schedule each day left me with little time or energy, and as a result, I missed all the hullabaloo over last week’s episode of Wife Swap that included a polyamorous family from New York State. The Wife Swap folks have been nosing about the poly community for a number of years now, looking for someone willing to take on this gamble… er… challenge. Obviously, they finally found someone willing to chance it. This one, unlike the recent poly episode on  Our America with Lisa Ling, was available on Hulu (and is also viewable online at the ABC site), so several members of my household sat down to watch it tonight. So how’d it go?

As Alan M. of Poly In the News pointed out, it could have been way worse. In ways, I think it was just about as good an outcome as we could expect from such a show. Ultimately, the poly family came out looking fairly normal, quite loving, and very supportive of one another. The kids of the Tea Party family all seemed pretty reasonable and normal, but the adults were shown to be quite intolerant and unwilling to abide by the rules to which they’d previously agreed.

You can read more about the episode over at Poly In the News, if you’d like. Warning: there are definite spoilers in Alan’s review, so if you intend to watch the show, you might want to do it first, before reading the coverage.

For extra amusement value, apparently Rush Limbaugh covered the show as well.

A balanced documentary about polyamorous life, it was not, of course. But for something aimed at creating as much drama as possible in the name of “entertainment,” the polyamorous family ended up being a stand for love and diversity.

Yes, it could have been a lot worse, indeed.

Here’s hoping your life is as full of love — and as empty of drama — as you could wish!

~♥ Dawn

PS: I think the Tea Party family could use a bit of a refresher on how to make and keep Agreements, don’t you? If you’re interested in learning more about making KISSable Agreements, you might want to download the excerpt of my upcoming book,* which includes the most important tool for getting to Win-Win-Win.  Enjoy!

kiss

* You’ll need to give an accurate email address so I can send you the file, and I’ll add you to my fairly low-traffic list at the same time… but you can always unsubscribe if you don’t want to remain after you get the file.  Of course, I hope you’ll stay!

 

∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥

[© 2013 Dawn M. Davidson]

Polyamory and Pregnancy: Author Interview

JessicaBurdePhoto

Author Jessica Burde

Hi folks!  I have something new for you today.  My friend and colleague Jessica Burde of Polyamory On Purpose has written a book called Polyamory and Pregnancy:

She’s doing a Blog Tour, and today is her stop at my blog. You can read more about the book and the blog tour over at Alan M.’s Polyamory in the News. She and I did a fun, quick interview a couple of weeks back, and I’ve placed it here for your listening pleasure.  You should be able to listen to it by double-clicking on the mp3 link, or opening it with iTunes or something similar:

Interview.jessica.burde.03.11.13

[3.3 MB; 13 min 42 sec]

I’ve transcribed the interview and included it below the cut, in case there are issues with the recording for anyone.

One note for any who might not have run into the term before, “metamour” means another partner of your own partner.  So in this case Jessica refers to the [female] partner of Jessica’s husband Michael as her metamour.

Hope you enjoy listening to the recording.

~♥ Dawn

PS:  A request on behalf of the author:  If you’re ever planning to buy this book from Amazon, could you please do so this week (March 17-23)?  This will help her get a good one-time Amazon ranking in the book’s specialty category.

PPS: Check out the other books on poly, relationships, and communication I have listed in the Amazon widget below and to the right
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There’s some awesome information to support your poly relationships in there… and if you buy through that link, you’ll also be supporting me (in a very tiny amount).  Win-win-win!

 

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