Valentine’s Day can be a confusing holiday, even if you’re only in (or trying to be in) one relationship. Add in polyamory or some other venture into Uncharted Love, and it can feel like trying to navigate a rocky shore without a chart.
Face it, even if you’re in a monogamous relationship, it can be fraught with peril, as you try to navigate tricky shoals, e.g., getting the right card. Is this one sweet–or OMG-treacle? Lovely or a bit co-dependent? Passionate–or stalkery? Striking a balance can be challenging, even with only one sweetie!
Add in polyamory or some other venture into Uncharted Love, and it can make your head spin. How do you take all your sweeties to dinner without breaking the bank? Do you have a big group dinner–and if so, do you need to rent the whole restaurant to accommodate your sweeties, and their sweeties, and their sweeties? Do you buy your Valentine’s Day gifts in bulk? (hint: shop early with Oriental Trading Company!)
So here’s a little link love for Valentine’s Day. One helpful, one interesting, and one for you Valentine’s Day humbugs out there.
Whatever you’re doing, and whoever you’re doing it with, here’s hoping you get all of what–or who–you want!
In terms of figuring out how to tell your partner that you love them, you might want to check out Gary Chapman’s 5 Love Languages.
♥ Acts of Service ♥ Quality Time ♥ Words
of Affirmation ♥ Gifts ♥ Physical Touch ♥
To make it easy for you to figure out which is your “primary love language,” I’ve made a handy-dandy gender-neutral, relationship-style-neutral quiz. All the ones I’d found before assumed that that the dyadic couple is in a “traditional” heterosexual, one-man-one-woman marriage (or at least they want to be in one). I happen to think this tool is the bees knees, and that it works for any sort of relationship–gender, relationship style, and number of participants notwithstanding. Things just get a little more complicated (as is often the case) when you have more than two people participating.
Are you a V-day Scrooge who’d say “humbug!” to the Hallmark Holiday? Maybe you’re a vengeful jilted lover, or you know someone who’s heart has been broken recently? If so, Oriental Trading Co has the perfect Valentines for you: The Anti-Valentine’s Cards (find ’em by going to their e-card site and clicking on “Anti-Valentines”). There you’ll find perfectly morose anti-valentines like this Love to Hate Valentine’s Day card.
And last but not least, the interesting link, on the Dark Origins of Valentines Day. It might be all about sweetness and light and chirping birdies now, but Valentine’s started out by stopping hearts, not making them beat faster. Share it with someone you (used to?) love.