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Where to Meet Potential Poly Partners (SF East Bay focus)

At the East Bay Poly Potluck and Discussion Meeting on Sept. 20, 2011, we had an intense and extremely productive discussion of where to find poly people to date in the SF Bay Area. We had over 30 people in attendance, and a LOT of great ideas were generated. If you’re interested in seeing what people said, check out the edited “minutes” of the meeting:

Google Docs page on places–IRL and Online–to meet potential poly partners

Thanks to AG for hosting, and FF for taking notes! And thanks to everyone from the myriad SF Bay Area poly, open, and non-monogamy communities for attending and sharing your wisdom!

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3 thoughts on “Where to Meet Potential Poly Partners (SF East Bay focus)

  1. Pingback: Updated Polyamory Resources | Love Outside the Box (formerly: Uncharted Love)

  2. John Ullman

    What a great list! May I post it on a Seattle list or two as an example?

    Also some suggestions for your list:

    Center for Sex and Culture

    Barry and Shell’s Swing parties (If they are still happening)

    Whatever the Jack and Jill Off parties of the early ’90’s morphed in to

    Janus, if you are so inclined

    There are organizations that attract poly people and people who are open to poly or at least not freaked out by the concept:

    Society for Creative Anachronism (SCA)

    Science Fiction conventions

    Steam Punk gatherings

    Liberal nudists

    The BDSM community

    Swingers groups – Yes, people looking for poly show up there – we did

    Bisexual organizations

    National poly conventions that happen near the Bay Area, ie at Harbin Hot Springs, like the World Polyamory Association meetings

    1. dawnd Post author

      Sure, thing, John! Post away. 🙂 And thanks for the additions. Our list was generated in a discussion that was meant to be maybe 15-20 minutes long (I’m sure it was more like 30-45), so it was by no means complete. And of course was based on the experiences of those present. Thanks for calling out a lot of other places, events and communities that are also great places.

      One “place” that was mentioned that I realize didn’t make it on the list was “Real Life,” e.g., at the office, church, etc. My comment on that is that doing “ordinary” things can be a great way to meet people if you’re already plugged into a social group that is friendly to polyamory. It can be very challenging, however, if you’re still in a mostly monogamous crowd on a day-to-day basis. In that case, I highly suggest starting with gatherings like the one we were at: potlucks, dinners, and social events specifically for poly/open/non-monogamous people and their allies.

      I definitely agree with the idea of meeting potential poly partners at SCA events. I myself was introduced to the concept of polyamory during my time in the SCA, while in college and in the years following. It definitely helped me bridge the gap between my conservative upbringing, and the… ahem… more self-expressed life I live now. :^)

      Thanks again for your input!


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