Why Monogamy Is Ridiculous | Dan Savage | Big Think

A friend on FB sent me link to this piece by Dan Savage. Dan, of course, is not known for mincing words. What do you think about his statement that “Monogamy Is Ridiculous”? Agree? Disagree? Why, or why not?

Why Monogamy Is Ridiculous | Dan Savage | Big Think.

4 thoughts on “Why Monogamy Is Ridiculous | Dan Savage | Big Think

  1. Lisa

    Dan said it! If I had the guts, I would have said the exact same thing. Let’s support marriage and all loving relationships by opening up to the facts of life.

    1. dawnd Post author

      Hi Lisa! Thanks for your input! I find myself in agreement with Dan in spirit, though maybe not quite in the letter. I don’t think I’d call monogamy itself “ridiculous,” but I would say that our culture has pretty far-fetched notions about how monogamy actually works. And I absolutely agree that there’s sense in giving people more slack for being human, and for moving from situational monogamy, to openness, and back again, without all the trauma and drama that usually happens around that these days! People should be free to choose to be exclusive or inclusive, depending on their needs and circumstances, and those of their partner/s.

      And of course, to be able to do that, it’s a good idea to have some Agreements. ;^)

      Thanks again!

  2. Carol

    I heard Dan speak at a conference in LA last month and he said the same thing. I think he’s a bit biased since he’s in an open relationship.

    My own opinion is that if open relationships or polyamory is what you and your partner or partners are comfortable with then do it.

    But if monogamy is what you and your partner are comfortable with then do it!

    Who is Dan Savage to judge others relational style?

    He also said some very controversial things about BDSM/Kink, which upset a number of people in the room who are involved in such things.

    He was an entertaining speaker, despite having a migraine at the time, and some of what he said was interesting, amusing and intelligent.

    But he’s no expert. And he was speaking to a bunch of sex researchers 😉

    1. dawnd Post author

      Carol, I’m right there with you. As I said elsewhere in this thread, I think everyone should be free to choose whatever relationship style works best for them.

      The good news and bad news about Dan Savage, though, is that he does say those controversial things, which has the intended result of controversy! Without someone like Dan periodically stirring the pot, the discussion doesn’t happen. So while I don’t agree with him 100%, I’m grateful for his moxie to speak his mind. I’m glad he’s in the world. :^)


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